Worst LotR/HP crossover fic ever, courtesy of the Drabble-Matic -- Godawful Fan Fiction

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:17:50
Author: Sil (who really, really needs to get to bed)
Subject: Worst LotR/HP crossover fic ever, courtesy of the Drabble-Matic
In reply to: Sil 's message, "More generator fun with the Drabble-Matic" on Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:02:44

Shoddily Tripping

Draco tripped along snottily. He was on his way to meet his lover, Frodo, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a dragon hopping along, carrying a castle in its mouth.

Draco was almost up Shit Creek when he came across a slippery cake, lying alone on a putrid plate. "That must be a treat from my crystalline bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked limp, so he ate it.

It gave him the most sparkling tingling sensation in his earlobe. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Frodo.

When Frodo came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Draco cried swiftly.

"Your molar! And your nipple!" Frodo said. "They're shiny! Can't you feel it?"

Draco felt his molar and his nipple. They were indeed quite shiny. "Oh, no!" Draco said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that slippery cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Frodo said. "I got you a wand. It must have been that wet man who lives nearby. He acts a little huskily, ever since he sucked a potion."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Draco sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Frodo said sadly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your molar is really smelly like that."

"Really?" Draco dried her tears. Draco kissed Frodo and it was an entirely blond sensation, like a thousand squeeing fangirls chasing Legolas over hill and dale.

They spent the night having entirely blond sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

One more bad crossover for the road -- Sil, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:31:47