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Date Posted: Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:02:44
Author: Sil
Subject: More generator fun with the Drabble-Matic
In reply to: Sil 's message, "Let's play with the Instant Slash Generator, shall we?" on Fri, Apr 23 2004, 1:33:41

<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://prillalar.com/drabbles/">http://prillalar.com/drabbles/</a>

This one comes up with different drabbles on each refreshing of the page. Bloody marvelous.

Gollum and Jar-Jar
by William Shakespeare

Enter Gollum

Jar-Jar appears above at a window

Gollum:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the tablet, and Jar-Jar is the mandrill.
Arise, foul mandrill, and lick the fetid printer.
See, how he leans his elbow upon his armpit!
O, that I were a glove upon that armpit,
That I might touch that elbow!

Jar-Jar:
O Gollum, Gollum! wherefore art thou Gollum?
What's in a name? That which we call a kneecap
By any other name would smell as fetid
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like the last dying gasps of an Orc shot through the lungs with an Elven arrow"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove sexy.

Gollum:
Swain, by yonder fetid printer I swear
That tips under a rock the hairy porn mag--

Jar-Jar:
O, swear not by the printer, the fragrant printer,
That quietly changes in its luminous orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise luminous.
Sweet, slimy night! A thousand times slimy night!
Parting is such appalling sorrow,
That I shall say slimy night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Gollum:
Sleep dwell upon thine elbow, peace in thine armpit!
Would I were sleep and peace, so sadly to rest!
huskily will I to my foul kneecap's cell,
Its help to lick, and my fetid kneecap to tell.

And, refreshed with the same terms:
A Porn Mag In Time

On a fragrant and hairy morning, Gollum sat under a rock. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His armpit ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Jar-Jar to love someone with an appalling kneecap?

Proudly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a sexy foul tablet, all on a summer's day. I wish my Jar-Jar would lick me, in his own slimy way..."

"Do you?" Jar-Jar sat down beside Gollum and put his hand on Gollum's elbow. "I think that could be arranged."

Gollum gasped sadly. "But what about my appalling kneecap?"

"I like it," Jar-Jar said stridently. "I think it's fetid."

They came together and their kiss was like the last dying gasps of an Orc shot through the lungs with an Elven arrow.

"I love you," Gollum said huskily.

"I love you too," Jar-Jar replied and licked him.

They bought a mandrill, moved in together, and lived quietly ever after.

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