ROUND 4: RIVALRY ROUND -- RFL - More than a Fantasy!

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Date Posted: 13:43:49 05/31/07 Thu
Author: The Commissioner General
Author Host/IP: 124.176.204.76
Subject: ROUND 4: RIVALRY ROUND
In reply to: The Comissioner General 's message, "2007 RFL DRAW" on 18:27:40 05/02/07 Wed

ROUND 3

Darkness Eternal 25.15 (165) defeated Elliot's Last Shout 19.16 (130)

CHEATING UMPIRE SCUM TRIES TO ROB RICHO
SHADOW'S superstar and all-round hero, good guy Matthew Richardson has led Darkness Eternal to a brave victory over the Pisspots on Friday night at Dark Park.
The charming and altogether fabulous Richo kicked 5.2 but was ripped off by a filthy white maggot who clearly barracks for Essendon and probably has pictures of a scantily-dressed James Hird in his bedroom.
The brave and wonderful Richardson had a wonderfully earned goal snatched from him, so unfairly finished with a mere 4.2.
"Those umpires are cheats," Shadows coach The General said.

DE
FWD: Richardson 4.2 (should be 5.2), N Reiwoldt 1.4, Robertson 3.1
MID: Simpson 4.3, Foley 3.1, Bartel 4.2
RUCK: Blake 2.1, TACK: Rischitelli 4.1

ELS
FWD: J Brown 2.3, B Johnson 2.0, Darcy 0.0
MID: McLeod 2.2, West 2.4, Houlihan 2.1
RUCK: Charman 4.1, TACK: Kirk 5.5

Party Animals 19.24 (138) defeated VVS Laxatives 17.16 (118)

POOR KICKIN IS POOR FOOTBALL - ANIMALS AND LAXATIVES BOTH SHIT

IT might be regarded as one of the biggest rivalries in the RFL, but the Party-VVS clash at a muddy, smelly and otherwise disgusting Animal Enclosure on Saturday proved to the ugliest game of RFL in living memory. Perhaps ever.
In fact, the whole crowd would have been much better off heading over to Dark Park the night before to watch the umpires deadset rape the Shadows in front of 70,000 screaming banshees.
Everitt was the best for the winners, which just about sums up how crap the game was, really.
And what's with that hideous VVS brown and yellow jumper anyway? Didn't brown disappear in the frigging 70s, for f@ck's sake?

PA
FWD: Fevola 2.3, Neitz 4.1, Q Lynch 1.1
MID: Mitchell 2.4, Scotland 3.1, Hodge 3.5
RUCK: Everitt 4.4, TACK: Ball 0.5

VVS 17.16
FWD: Rocca 0.4, B Hall 1.2, Welsh 4.1
MID: J Bowden 4.1, Goodwin 4.4, Crawford 1.4
RUCK: Jolly 3.0, TACK: J Carr (DNP) replaced by G Ablett 0.0

University Wolves 22.14 (146) defeated by Swangunners 30.15 (195)

SWANGUNNERS OFFICIALLY LISTED BY TAX DEPARTMENT AS CHARITY

A series of inexplicible free kicks to Matthew Lloyd has gifted the Swangunners their third win of the season.
As the Gunners forward rolled over and played dead in a performance that would have done a soccer player proud and picking three undeserved goals, the perplexed Wolves saw the game disappear from their grasp by 49 points on Saturday.
"If it were Richo instead of frigging Lloyd, all those free kicks would have gone the other. God Richo gets deadset ripped off every frigging week," someone was overhead to say to University coach Sly the Magnificent.
Judd also got a bag of free kicks for no good reason because you can't touch Judd. You can't frigging touch him!

WOLVES
FWD: Ebert 1.2, Franklin 1.2, Schulz (DNP), replaced by Priddis 0.0
MID: Stanton 4.2, Swan 3.0, J Lewis 4.2
RUCK: Fraser 2.3, TACK: Harris 7.3

SWAN
FWD: Tredrea 1.1, Pavlich 3.3, Lloyd 3.3
MID: Judd 4.2, Kerr (DNP) replaced by Goodes 4.2, Cross 3.0
RUCK: Sandilands 4.2, TACK: McDonald 8.2

Wakky Races 25.18 (168) defeated by McHales Navy 32.17 (209)

CONTROVERSIAL DECISIONS IN FAVOUR OF LUCAS STUMP RACES

A SERIES of marks to Scott Lucas that would have been paid pushes in the back against Matthew Richardson in the same situation set up a big win for the Navy on Sunday.
I mean, why is it when Lucas does it it's not a free kick, but when Richo does, it is ... and a freakin' 50 metre penalty? As if it was a deliberate exercise to waste time???
The game was topped off when James Hird rode a Wakky player into the ground and it was paid freakin' holding the ball.
"That umpire is a freakin' cheat," someone said to Wakky coach Mutley, yesterday.

WAKKY
FWD: C Jones 2.3, Mooney 2.1, Tarrant 3.3
MID: S Thompson 4.2, C Cornes 4.1, T Edwards 1.4
RUCK: J White 6.2, Cassisi 3.2

NAVY
FWD: Lucas 3.4, Didak 2.0, Gehrig 1.4
MID: K Cornes 6.0, Black 6.1, Lockyer 5.2
RUCK: Lade 5.5, TACK: J Bolton 4.1

Played Won Lost Draw Points For Against Percentage
Swan Gunners 4 3 1 0 12 699 594 117.5
McHale's Navy 4 3 1 0 12 713 659 108.2
Party Animals 4 2 2 0 8 625 593 105.4
Wakky Races 4 2 2 0 8 643 672 95.7
Darkness Eternal 4 2 2 0 8 591 624 94.7
University Wolves 4 2 2 0 8 589 636 92.8
VVS Laxatives 4 1 3 0 4 631 614 102.8
Elliot's Last Shout 4 1 3 0 4 546 645 84.7

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McTempo Calls for Recount -- New Dehli Chronicle, 13:49:55 06/01/07 Fri