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Date Posted: 11:01:37 04/21/03 Mon
Author: jobb1
Subject: Here is my experiences (had four relatives die when my oldest was 2-5)....
In reply to: Jeanne 's message, "Funeral question" on 09:29:25 04/21/03 Mon

We took Trey (2 during the time), to the viewing & the funeral & the burial. Belive it or not the view went the best. Trey more or less thought "grandpa" was sleeping. He didn't fully understand, but wasn't freaked out. The actual funeral and burial was much worse. He just wasn't able to sit and be quiet that long. Luckily my Mom came along to "help" and took him out and then sat in the car w/him during the burial. When we had others passed we only went to the viewings w/the kids and left them with sitters during the funerals/burials.

We've been fairly open about life & death with the kids - thye all understand (at appropriate levels) how babies come into the world and that at some point that God determines we leave this world. We always explained what they would see at a viewing (grandma in a casket w/her eyes closed and she would appear sleeping, but that she would not wake up again). All the kids touched and said good bye. Did they 100% understand that grandma/grandpa/etc. would not be seen again, probably not but then again we explain that someday we will see them again when we join them and God.

I realize this is the view for all, but I believe kids are much more knowledgeable and understanding then most adults give them credit for. I also believe kids are much more able to handle things (sometime better then adults) than they are given credit for. We do shelter our kids to some degree, we also try to be honest with them.

Hugs and prayers on the lost of your neighbor and friend. No matter what you choose you know your child best and will do right for them.
Jackie

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