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Date Posted: 10:38:45 04/05/03 Sat
Author: deltim
Subject: Hmm... that's a tough one..
In reply to: Candice 's message, "Sherri! (or anyone else who's bioligical father is not involved)" on 08:08:27 04/05/03 Sat

Though he would not need to terminate his parental rights for them to switch their last name, but that is not the issue.

I have three children, three fathers, three last names. All three of my kids are known by DH's last name for personal and school use, and their medical files are cross referenced. The only place their legal name appears is on the medical cards, birth certificates and social security cards.

My oldest son and I have the same last name (but he is kind of a drifty kid, and doesn't realize it). My daughter has occasional contact with her father and legally has his last name, also the last in a line - but the last name really sucks (it's strange and easy to make fun of). She knows the last name of her father, but I don't think she knows that is really her last name too. My youngest legally has the last name that the rest of us go by.

And as for me... for business and most other uses I use my legal last name, but for school purposes I am listed with my DH's last name (we are not legally married).

I have pondered many times changing my kids last names legally. I would love for them to all have the same last name, and if it was easy to do so, I would. But I have pretty much settled on not doing it, just because it would be too much of a court battle. And besides, when they are over the age of 14 (here anyway) they are legally able to decide for themselves what last name they wish to use. They can legally change their name without parental consent.

So I figure, for now I will just have them use the last name I want them to use. Then when they are old enough to have to worry about getting a driver license, it will be their choice as to which name they would like to have for the rest of their life.

I don't really place a lot of value on the family line thing, though I used to. I am one of the last in my family's line, as is my oldest son since he still has the last name. But it does not bother me if he would choose to end it and take DH's name legally. DH has done so much for them, I consider it an honor for DH that they would take his last name.

I am sure this hasn't helped... but maybe for now they could use their step-fathers name, and then decide for themselves when they are old enough?

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