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Date Posted: 04/27/03 3:39pm
Author: pat
Subject: Completely O/T: I need to vent and get your opinion.

Last night we had some friends over for a barbecue. Actually, they were coworkers/friends of my husband: his boss and a coworker with his wife and son. None of these people had been to our house before.

We have an open kitchen (open to the living room) with a big island, so often company hangs out there. After eating, we still stood and sat in the kitchen. Then the wife started washing the dinner dishes. I was embarrassed, but for some reason I didn't say, "Please don't do that." Instead I laughed and said, "You don't have to do that." She said, "I want to," or "I like to." So I let her until she was scrubbing a pan, then I said, "Oh, leave that," and she did.

You know, the more I thought about it, the more irritated I got. I don't like doing dishes or cleaning up while company is here. I think it's rude. With very close friends I might do that depending on what all is happening at the time. And I've had friends who offer to help or ask if they can help. But this lady -- who was kind of odd, IMO -- just started washing. (We have a dishwasher, but she practically washed the dishes completely instead of just rinsing.)

Do I sound like an ingrate to resent her dishwashing? Should I write to Miss Manners?

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