Re: Story woes -- The Lonely Canadian Writer

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Date Posted: 13:42:14 05/22/08 Thu GMT-5
Author: Lori
Author Host/IP: S0106001a70540c2c.cg.shawcable.net / 68.145.251.17
Subject: Re: Story woes
In reply to: Roger 's message, "Re: Story woes" on 12:14:07 05/22/08 Thu GMT-5

Yeah, to me that works, Roger.

You want to help me rewrite a story?

Lori

>Well, your example would work, if you really needed to
>say it, Lori, but I think Liz would be better off to
>stay in direct quotes in the situation she is
>describing. Instead of
>'Then she tells me something that I would never have
>thought of, how suddenly she finds herself under a
>miscroscope,' why not:
>
>"I feel like I'm suddenly under a microscope."
>
>"Why is that, Jean?"
>
>which conveys the surprise of the narrator, and
>advances the conversation.
>
>>Hey, Liz:
>>
>>Good for you, that's what I've been doing today, too,
>>revisiting. Easier said than done, often.
>>
>>Without actually seeing an example of this, I find it
>>a little hard to picture (that's probably me). Are you
>>saying that the characters are having some dialogue
>>and then you do some summary and then back to
>>dialogue? I think that's fairly common. I think I've
>>seen it done sucessfully with the inddented dash
>>instead of quotation mark system that Irish authors
>>like Joyce, Edna O'Brien and Roddy Doyle use.
>>
>> - You know, this stuff.
>> And then she said something else that didn't
>>really matter. I didn't even hear it, really.
>> - Hey, are you guys still listening?
>>
>>I am getting that right?
>>
>>Best,
>>
>>Lori
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>>I've been editing one of my stories - written quite a
>>>while ago. Tip #1 - leave it until you can approach
>>>it as a reader, done.
>>>In this story I have a couple of conversations that I
>>>use quotes and are present time but then I have a
>>>capsulating paragraph within the scene. eg. Then she
>>>tells me something that I would never have thought
>of,
>>>how suddenly she finds herself under a miscroscope
>>>from everyone....
>>>I bring it back to real time with a transitionary
>>>sentence and continue with quote unquote dialogue.
>>>Any well read writers out there who can say 'that's
>>>just like the writing of...???' I feel like I'm
>>>breaking some dialogue rules here but I'm not
>>>convinced I can tell the story better with he said,
>>>she said on everything.
>>>The story is written deeply first person masculine.
>>>Confessional in tone even.
>>>Any and all suggestions or comments welcome.
>>>Liz

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Replies:

Re: Story woes -- Liz, 15:19:10 05/22/08 Thu GMT-5

And in the end it was easy! -- Liz, 19:33:50 05/22/08 Thu GMT-5

Re: And in the end it was easy! Good -- DianeG, 20:42:59 05/22/08 Thu GMT-5
- Re: And in the end it was easy! Good -- Lori, 09:47:22 05/23/08 Fri GMT-5