| Subject: Why there will never be a brown M&M spokescandy |
Author:
candyvulva
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Date Posted: 23:43:25 01/09/04 Fri
Think about it...
Well first of all each existing spokescandy is not only a different color but a different kind of M&M.
Red = Milk Chocolate
Yellow = Peanut
Orange = Crispy
Green = Peanut Butter
Blue = Almond
So technically they'd have to make a new kind of M&M to include a brown spokescandy. Which they will, except not for the brown, but for the new, purple M&M. Why you ask? Well, this brings me to my main point.
A brown spokescandy, no matter how hard they try to cover it up, will always look black. This would create all sorts of problems. First and foremost, the general public would be outraged and the NAACP would be on their asses like "ugly on an Osbourne." (greatest quote.. ever) Second, they would then have to amend the rest of the spokescadies to have each of them be of a different ethnicity. I say they should go by the olympic colors, each representing a different continent. We'd already have Africa, so blue, representing Europe, would allow the blue M&M to remain white. Yellow, representing Asia, would make the yellow M&M asian. Red, The Americas, would make red either indian or latino. Green, Australia... I think that one should just stay the way it is... as the single female. That only leaves orange and purple. Orange can be some sort of semite, like a jew, muslim, or hindu (are hindus semites?) And purple can be gay. There, that covers all the minorities. But of course, this can never happen, not in America. Now do you see why there will never be a brown M&M spokescandy? With something to think about, I'm Stoned Phillips.
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