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Date Posted: 19:36:51 05/26/01 Sat
Author: tim
Subject: I like the idea, and the rhyming helps to show us that there is a bit of a fun side to the poem, despite its potentially macabre undertones. Makes for interesting reading, though I think the rhyming is best used reservedly, to mark turning points in the poem perhaps?? PS congrats on the poetry win!
In reply to: luke 's message, "Not finished and not likely to be" on 17:37:06 04/02/01 Mon


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[> Some of your language is exceltent but it is undermined by the rhyming. It looses the threat created with the imagery, if it is your intention to make it appear light and amusing while being threatening all at once then it worked but i have to agree with zeina about the whole 'was i wrong?' however, i don't think this was the worse line, that was, the scare rhyming with chair. -- meg, 14:23:42 05/27/01 Sun

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