I like it, the use of the word dear is good, it does link the stazas together although i don't like the second one it doesn't work, it is as if you threw it in and is not needed, i've never seen someone smile like they are swallowing a strawberry... but i love the last line the power that has been created works really well -- Some Let Me Make You

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Date Posted: 17:08:37 06/01/01 Fri
Author: mags
Subject: I like it, the use of the word dear is good, it does link the stazas together although i don't like the second one it doesn't work, it is as if you threw it in and is not needed, i've never seen someone smile like they are swallowing a strawberry... but i love the last line the power that has been created works really well
In reply to: Zeina Muna 's message, "playing with haikus a bit....." on 19:12:48 05/07/01 Mon

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[> actually, luke, this is a fairly standard approach to haiku writing - in fact, the individual haiku on its own is more of an historical oddity. haikus used to be given to hosts by guests, and it would be expected that they would themselves add two further lines (of 7 syllables each) to form a tanka, which became the shared experience of the visit. and even discounting that, the haiku is often used in series, as zeina has done rather elegantly here. -- si, 20:30:06 06/05/01 Tue

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[> [> oh. Didn't know that. -- luke, 15:59:49 06/06/01 Wed

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[> [> [> i figured you didn't, judging by the way you were lecturing zeina...:) -- si, 19:05:14 06/06/01 Wed

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[> [> [> I wasn't lecturing her, I think it's very good. Just trying to understand why it sounded so crazy to me when I read it. -- luke, 07:04:40 06/07/01 Thu

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