shocking, but great writing, I like the way you have written his thoughts too the last bit of description when opening the door really works it finalises the whole thing -- Some Let Me Make You

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 10:34:53 03/16/01 Fri
Author: mags
Subject: shocking, but great writing, I like the way you have written his thoughts too the last bit of description when opening the door really works it finalises the whole thing
In reply to: james 's message, "More to cheer us up and not as evil as rape" on 18:16:04 03/12/01 Mon

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Great. I liked the bits describing what actually happened a lot more than the reflecting back on it, ie. I didn't like the second part of the first paragraph as much, apart from the bit about "evidence." The simile in the first sentence works well, making the punch seem accidental and her seem very fragile. I didn't like "my heart wrenched" especially compared to the more powerful image of the rolling stomach. -- luke, 06:52:16 03/19/01 Mon

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]

[> [>

this is more what i had in mind by specific comment... -- si, 13:49:43 03/19/01 Mon

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
[ Edit | View ]