Llafranc -- Some Let Me Make You

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Date Posted: 12:25:17 03/23/01 Fri
Author: faye
Subject: Llafranc

The weather is warm, although clouds mask the sky, a white smothering over the pale blue. Boats bob between buoys of pink and orange, which appear as rather oversized heads among the swimmers. To the right, cliffs gently slope into the sea, trees cling to the to dry earth. The train moves methodically behind me, the music loud, then softer as it travels up the road. A policeman saunters past, whistling, and I nod politely then look away.
The beach is crowded, and I do not enjoy sitting a mere metre from the neighbouring sunseekers, and much prefer the pool in our friend�s garden. The high walls, on which ivy clambered and tangled bushes grew, surrounded the pool, and not only provided me with the privacy I intended on having, but also with a capacity for clear thinking. I had felt too close and the light too bright on the beach, with unfamiliar people around, watching.

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[> Faye showing signs of the 'paranoid android' again, worried people are watching. I like the first paragraph a lot. Forgive me for being picky, but its short so I have to be. I don't understand the tense in the last sentence. -- luke, 12:56:17 03/31/01 Sat

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[> [> she needs a 'had been' after 'the light' in the last sentence, that's all. why do you like the first paragraph? just saying you like it isn't specific enough to be of real help. -- si, 11:55:01 04/01/01 Sun

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[> [> [> So has she been to the beach then to the pool and now back to the beach then? The still atmosphere on the beach is captured by the slow movement verbs like, bob, gently slope, saunter, moves methodically. -- luke, 17:34:51 04/01/01 Sun

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[> [> [> [> that's better. but no, she didn't go back to the beach, unless her grammar really /has/ fallen apart - that's why i say 'had been' is missing after 'the light'... -- si, 12:15:49 04/02/01 Mon

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[> And can I recommend a super site - www.bettybowers.com -- luke, 13:10:40 03/31/01 Sat

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[> the first paragraph reminded me a little of the poetry we are looking at in class (Edward Thomas) for some reason. i think its the way it all flows nicely and is all smooth and calm and sort of conversational. but yes the fact that people are watching at the end kind of unsettles it all. -- zeina, 11:54:27 04/07/01 Sat

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[> I'm not sure what I think of this, it is as if something is missing that should link it alltogether. I do like the oversized heads as that is what bouys are now that you mention it, but the 'watching' leaves it too open. Don't get me wrong I think it is a very good peice perhaps somevmore characterisation of the person it is about would help. -- maggie, 20:01:00 04/19/01 Thu

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