good to sea (ho ho) you writing at length again, meg. the tinkling of the sand and shells on the sea bed is great, as is the bit where you feel like a cloud - you need a bit of work on some of the sentence structure, though, and you can't survey a view! remember, keep your language clear and clean and sharp - don't go off into things like 'immense immediate' or 'probably multiplied' - you're at your very best when you use bright, clear words - i hope you know what i mean. -- Some Let Me Make You

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Date Posted: 14:46:54 03/24/01 Sat
Author: si
Subject: good to sea (ho ho) you writing at length again, meg. the tinkling of the sand and shells on the sea bed is great, as is the bit where you feel like a cloud - you need a bit of work on some of the sentence structure, though, and you can't survey a view! remember, keep your language clear and clean and sharp - don't go off into things like 'immense immediate' or 'probably multiplied' - you're at your very best when you use bright, clear words - i hope you know what i mean.
In reply to: maggie 's message, "The Power of the Sea" on 14:07:45 03/21/01 Wed

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[> the description and detail here is what really makes this. "the tiny ridges in the sand" and I also love the "tinkling of the shells." I like how the calm, observational style changes to the breathless, panic in the final paragraph. Its nice to see that you add swimming techniques to even your writing. Water on the brain? -- james, 16:52:16 03/27/01 Tue

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