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Friday, May 01, 16:33:49 [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6, 7 ]
Subject: BELIEVE IT OR NOT....


Author:
Stacy
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Date Posted: 23:49:19 06/28/05 Tue
 This may actually make for some interesting reading for all of you. I had about an hour today that I got mad. I got downright ticked off. I said to myself "to heck with this positive attitufe for a few minutes!" I got mad because it seems like everytime I get a leg up (or even a toe up), something comes flying around the corner and whacks me right in the head!

I was listing all the things in my head that makes me mad.... Okay, I thought it was four masses... NO, it's five! You get it in your head that okay I can deal with four and you move forward. Then suddenly you find out it's FIVE. CRAP!! Re-adjust. Can I get anymore bloated and puffy???? My legs, feet, ankles, gut, back, face, neck, arms, and eyes are so puffy it's miserable!! Can't wait to get off the steroids! I'm sick of not being able to go outside in my garden or anywhere for that matter because I can't take the heat and/or humidity. I miss going outside. I can't drive for SIX MONTHS!! I've been patiently waiting for warm weather to ride my scooter and now I have to wait til next year. BUMMER!! Okay, three times losing your hair SUCKS!! As much as I can deal with it and not be affected as badly as other people, it still sucks!! AND I don't know how long I'll be hairless because I'll be going back on chemo and I don't know if it will be a drug that your hair can't grow. Although I've lost a ton of hair, there are still some stubborn follicles that haven't dropped the hair yet. So... GEE... don't I look lovely. Twenty pounds gained in less than a month from bloating!! All this weight gain is hard on the knees too. My feet hurt too. Probably from dragging my feet trying to walk stable. My forehead is getting more and more burned everyday so it is sore and it itches similar to sunburn. Now it's getting the same way behind my ears too. I have constant dry mouth. I cannot quench my thirst. Daggone steroids. Night time insomnia is for the birds!! It would be so nice to get a full nights sleep. Okay I'm done griping. I just wanted to make sure you all knew that I am actually human and I can get mad at this. An hour in the course of one day of anger ain't bad though!
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Replies:
[> Subject: ENTITLED


Author:
Bonnie
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Date Posted: 07:52:10 06/29/05 Wed
You go Stacy!! You are entitled to more than one hour of anger! You have been battered from all sides, and I pray that it ends soon and that you will feel better. There is an Intalin proverb that says "Any plan is bad which is not susceptible to change"--so the way I see it for an hour last night you just changed your plan of attack!!

I know that you have only a few more treatments. Will you be taken off the steroids then? I have friends that have told me the weight gain from them just makes one feel sluggish and tired. It will be so much better when you be off of the steroids, and I hope that will be soon.

The insomnia is another culprit for wearing one down. Are you able to sleep and rest during the day? I hope that you rest whenever you can---day or night.

Thought for the day---you weren't griping you were attacking!!! Love and prayers, Bonnie
[> [> Subject: Asleep


Author:
Bonnie
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Date Posted: 20:36:56 06/29/05 Wed
Hi Stacy, I just signed on to your site this evening, and I read my email that I sent this morning. I do know how to spell Italian, and I should have typed are instead of be!! I am sure that you knew what I meant though. I think it was too early, and I was still asleep!!! How was your day----good I hope. Love and prayers, Bonnie
[> [> Subject: Good thinking


Author:
Stacy
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Date Posted: 22:55:34 06/29/05 Wed
I like your perspective! That's right, I wasn't griping... I was attacking.

I only have 4 treatments left. Once they are over my doctor will wean me off the steroids all together. Believe it or not I'm only taking the equivalent of one pill a day right now and I'm STILL so sensitive to it. Maybe the will help wean me off quicker since I'm only taking one a day. They are definitely causing the insomnia. I get maybe an hour or two of rest during the day then at night I'm lucky if I get two hours straight of sleep. Last night I had the equivalent to 3 1/2 hours of sleep total for the night. I imagine that is wearing me down like you said.

My day was okay today but I was feeling really bloating and groggy. I did last longer today before I had to take a nap. My Mom and I had to go to the car dealership this afternoon because her "check engine" light wouldn't go off. It turns out all the car needed was upgraded computer information downloaded into the computer in her car. What a nuisance. Check engine scares you then all you need is computer downloads. They should have a light that says "computer" instead.

I figured you meant Italian. Trust me, I'm not much on proof-reading these days. As long as I understand the message, I'm happy.

Thanks for checking in! Tell Jack, Greg and Steph hello for me.
[> Subject: Anger is Good


Author:
Peg
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Date Posted: 10:04:07 07/01/05 Fri
Stacy, a postive attitude or anger -- they're both signs of the fact that you are a fighter. You're entitled to either/or. I'm really sorry this has been such a bad time, and I hope when you're finished with the radiation, you will be feeling better.

Hang in there -- your friends are with you. Todd sends his best regards.
Love, Peg
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