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Friday, May 01, 21:02:29 [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, [6], 7 ]
Subject: Things to think about...


Author:
AMUSED
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Date Posted: 23:46:10 07/09/04 Fri
 I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
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Gardening Rule:
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
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Life is sexually transmitted.
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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Always get the last word in: Apologize.
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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to?
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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
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In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

You read about all these terrorists --- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
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