Re: The word 'sense' can be found in 'nonsense'� only real place. -- CastawaysII

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Date Posted: 18:43:46 09/23/07 Sun
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: adsl-68-79-91-78.dsl.sfldmi.ameritech.net / 68.79.91.78
Subject: Re: The word 'sense' can be found in 'nonsense'� only real place.
In reply to: Mikki 's message, "Re: The word 'sense' can be found in 'nonsense'� only real place." on 05:06:22 09/23/07 Sun

I was very despondent this morning Mikki. I still am. I did get my fix: a bike ride. I have not been out to the park in a month or so. I have not had the cash to go. I can ride along Metro Park road's bike path though. It is not scenic like the parks but it is a work out; only a 21 mile work out, but a work out. I am seriously considering suicide. The Fentanyl Transdermal System (50 mcg/h) is helping much. The pain was getting to be intolerable. If I had not jumped up and went for a bike ride this morning, I might have checked out. I got to get back doing my regular bike workouts. I can think of ten or more serious rewards to biking. I intensely must have my workouts, more so than my chemical meds.

I am not sure what I got out of everything I wrote this morning other than I knew there was a good chance this would have been my last chance to be honest. My mind was a bit inebriated for a moment when I wrote all of that. Actually, I am so fearful, my mind is inebriated at least a bit all the time. Most people get the gist of my allegory that I wrote this morning for you. Mikki, you will go for help from a psyche therapist or psychiatrist, but you figure you know enough about therapy to know how they are supposed to help you. If they don't do it by your rules it is their fault therapy does not work for you. This does not include that nut although you probably knew how he was to dispense therapy for you too. As long as you get to control the method(s) of therapy you are happy. You're not really doing therapy but are happy. Actually, I ought to let you figure out my allegory. Giving you my canyons will not give you a clear idea of what it meant. Even, perhaps, what I just wrote will not be understood fully or believed. You need to figure it out for yourself. Go find the box of canyons you so shrewdly hid long ago, figure out the colors and fill in the blanks of my allegory yourself. I can guess you probably knew how the lawyers ought to do there jobs also. I would not let that Jeffry guy clean my toilet much less represent me in court. Don't forget I had my case settled by not a worldly famous clown attorney. You know, therapists go to other therapists for therapy each know most of what therapy is about. They just don't go into therapy telling the therapist how to do their job or be expecting them to dispense therapy by the visiting/client therapist's rules. Mikki, I see you as a major controller. Now this is what I see. What I see is not always perfectly seen or be the actuality at all. I have a friend at the hospital I go to. Chris is a chaplain, an actual healer. I think her and you would work out well. God will smile much if you two came to know each other. Maybe even be God's plan. I am sure you will like her very well; well enough to even still associate with her when she does not put up with your b.s. If you like, I will ask her if I can give her e-mail address to you. If I recommend some one as I am doing now, it probably be best to give me the benefit of the doubt� and not pass up a great opportunity because of doubt, fear, or lack of confidence in me. Chris is about four feet in height but as big as a room stature wise.

RICHARD

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Replies:

Richard. -- Mikki, 12:25:18 09/24/07 Mon
- Mikki -- Richard, 05:48:35 09/25/07 Tue
  - Richard -- Mikki, 13:21:36 09/26/07 Wed