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• She had completely quit working at the grocery store at Mani's insistence - she was just too big and uncomfortable, especially at night to get any sleep, let alone enough to function in a spot like that, so it was rare that she ventured out of the apartment, preferring mostly window gazing and sketching. She didn't want to admit that she had let her charcoal wander a couple of nights ago and drawn a beautiful little girl with pigtails and laughing eyes - she supposed it looked like what their child would look like, but she was trying to be realistic about the whole thing. She would have gladly snuck in the door had everyone not been sitting around in the living room - she was making final arrangements with the social worker now, but feeling less and less sure about the whole adoption thing. She was bundled up against the cold in jacket, scarf and mittens, and tried to make her way quietly through the living room. (NT) -- Astrid, 13:54:12 01/17/07 Wed

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• She couldn't sneak past him, he heard her outside, the distinctive heavy walk she had since she was so heavy with his child. His eyes stayed on the television but he felt her walk past him and saw Joey's eyes lift and heard a mumbled greeting called to her from the boys. A moment passed before he stood up and crossed into the hallway, grabbing her by the back of her shirt and tugging her back against his chest. "Where were you?" He questioned, his voice low and quiet so not to disturb anyone else in the hall who was sleeping or otherly occupied. (NT) -- Armani, 14:00:02 01/17/07 Wed

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• She froze, not sure whether to be scared or not - she was getting irrational sometimes with paranoia and fear but she'd heard it was a side effect of pregnancy. She had skirted around the issue of lying to him just by not telling him anything at all - how could he say she was lying if she was just omitting the truth? She craned her neck to have a look at him, the cold air still hanging on her scarf that was halfway unwound around her neck. "I had coffee with a friend.. well, she had coffee, I had milk." She pulled a bit of a face - she was not much of a milk drinker but she had been putting forth an effort on account of the baby - she didn't want it, but she didn't want it to have some freak problem on account of her. (NT) -- Astrid, 14:04:01 01/17/07 Wed

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• He frowned, raking his hand over his head absently. She didn't really have any friends outside of the house, he knew that and he knew that any friend she had was a new one. His jaw clenched a little as he looked down at her, his eyes narrowed a touch. "I don't like you hiding things, Astrid." He stated with a growl to his voice, not trying to be intimidating but wanting her to understand this was something he took very seriously. He wasn't messing around when it came to the welfare and security of his kid and he knew she was just going to...to...toss her/him away. (NT) -- Mani, 14:15:31 01/17/07 Wed

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• She frowned, pent up frustration taking hold of her before she could rein herself in, and swung around in his hold, her protruding stomach making it awkward. "And I don't like you lording over me like you're my boyfriend. You don't want to make a committment, you've told me enough goddamn times, so stop acting like you have. You're my sperm donor." She didn't mean it, of course, they were friends and she valued that very much, but she thought if he maybe even said that he would try and be exclusive and that they could raise the baby as a mother and a father together not as two seperate entities, she might just keep it - or so she had thought a couple of times over the past few months. (NT) -- Astrid, 14:19:26 01/17/07 Wed

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• Anger flared into his eyes at her words but other than that and a slight tightening of his strong jaw the fury really wasn't too obvious. A low breath escaped his lips before he spoke. "I didn't realize you were looking for doners. Could have put up fliers or something, got a more suitable choice for a father for your child. Or do you even consider it a child?" He questioned, his eyes narrowed. "Or is it just a group of cells growing inside of you? Something so easily disposed of?" He tensed heavily, his muscles contracting obvious beneath the short sleeves of his grey t-shirt.He was sick of her attitude. Her all or nothing game. He didn't want to have to chose with being with her or having his child with him. (NT) -- Armani, 19:39:15 01/17/07 Wed

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• She felt like she had been over this with him a million times, she couldn't make it more clear - she wanted this kid to have a fair shot at life, or that's what she told herself anyhow - with a family that could provide for it and give it a stable home. She watched him carefully - sometimes she almost thought to be afraid of him, but not now, she was just annoyed. "If I thought it was a group of cells, I would have had it scooped out of me in the beginning. If you could even begin to understand why I'm doing this, maybe you wouldn't be so unrealistic." Her voice was monotone but rising in volume, her dark eyes staring him down before she turned, jerking her body away from his and heading for her room. (NT) -- Astrid, 19:42:48 01/17/07 Wed

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• He shook his head, throwing up his hands in frustration. "What the hell do you want from me, woman? A damn ring?!" He shook his head, watching her back as she strode down the hallway looking all the world like a beautiful tempest full of ire and self rightous indignation. "Yeah, run away Astrid! Cuz that's always fixed things!" He called out after her, more than aware that probably everyone in the house could hear them but it didn't matter. People could mind their own shit and besides, half the kids in the house were a lot less well off than they were. (NT) -- Armani, 19:46:31 01/17/07 Wed

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• She stopped, all of the fire draining out of her almost immediately, like it always did... the temper came and went but mostly went and left her feeling helpless, desperate for the things he couldn't, or wouldn't give her. She stopped, her body drooping a bit and wiped a hand across her brow, her chocolate eyes already starting to burn with tears. "No... I don't know, 'Mani... it doesn't seem like anything will fix this, y'know? I just feel like I'm stuck and I have no real options, and there's not a hell of a lot you can do about it, or me either." (NT) -- Astrid, 19:49:58 01/17/07 Wed

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• He sighed softly, his own anger melting away at the sound of the tears in her voice. A low breath escaped his lips as he watched her, slowly moving closer to her as he lifted his arms to run down her own arms. "You don't have enough faith in yourself, butterfly, thats the problem here." She had been told her whole life that she was nothing and that she wouldn't accomplish anything and she had just started to believe it...that broke his heart. She was a beautiful, smart girl who could have anything and life had just dealt her a shitty hand. She could turn it around though, if she just had the faith in herself and him to do so... (NT) -- Armani, 20:00:07 01/17/07 Wed

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• "I guess I just don't want this little one to end up like I did. I want this child to have opportunities that I never had, and I don't see how I... we can offer that." She sighed and closed her eyes, letting some of her stress out with her breath as his hands closed on her arms. She just didn't know - sometimes he could be as tender and caring and sometimes he could be the biggest asshole... maybe she could manage with the tender, caring Mani being a part time father, but she didn't think she could handle the asshole Mani being a part of this child's life. "Did you know it's going to be a girl, 'Mani?" She had never recieved any official confirmation of that from a doctor, but she somehow knew, in her core, that it was going to be a girl and maybe that's what made her so afraid - a boy could manage, a girl needed more. (NT) -- Astrid, 20:08:53 01/17/07 Wed

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• "I can get a job, you can go to school..." He frowned heavily, his eyes on her. "Joey and Nina are making it work, why can't we?" He questioned with a frown, not understanding. Did she not have any confidence in him? Did she think he was a deadbeat. "Do you think I would be like your father?" He questioned softly, for once a slight hint of insecurity and fear in his voice. He was usually so cocky, so self assured but the thought that she might consider even the possibility that he would abandoned his child...well that hurt. It cut deeper than he thought she had the power to cut him. (NT) -- Mani, 20:18:34 01/17/07 Wed

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• She hated the vunerability of standing in the hallway discussing their business now that she had calmed down and took a step back into her room, motioning for him to follow.. their room, to be honest, but she had driven him out on more than one night. She was a horrible, vicious, unpredictable lioness when she wanted to be, but right now she felt exposed more than anything - this was the first time they'd ever really talked about this seeking a solution rather than to hurt one another. "No.. I just... I don't know, Mani, I just don't know that I can ever see you in the domesticated life, being a daddy.." And I don't want to drive you away when I see you with other women and make it more difficult for the child.. (NT) -- Astrid, 20:23:24 01/17/07 Wed

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• "It's not like I am out running the streets anymore, Astrid. I have a decently steady job, I can get a better one...." He frowned, his hand running down his face as he sank down onto the edge of the bed, looking up at her with a confused glance. "I don't...I don't understand." He really didn't see why they couldn't do this, especially when Joey and Nina were doing well and happy about their upcoming arrival. If they all stayed around here, their kids would have someone to play with, cousins practically to grow up with, it was a good place to raise a kid. (NT) -- Mani, 20:32:17 01/17/07 Wed

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• It was strange to see him confused and at a loss, and it unsettled her a little bit. She remained on her feet, still too agitated to be sat down, the tears dried up, one hand on her back and the other resting protectively on her stomach. "Just think... about the rich family that could adopt this baby, 'Mani... she could have music and art lessons, and a driver's license, and not have to worry about things, ever. If we keep this baby, I may never feel like I am ever doing it justice as a mother." It didn't matter what jobs they had, none of them were university educated, and would likely end up in dead end jobs. "Don't take this so personally." At least that's what she was trying to do. She had looked at profiles of the types of families that were looking to adopt today.. it had opened up her imagination to all the doors that could be opened for the child. (NT) -- Astrid, 20:36:43 01/17/07 Wed