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Date Posted: 10:46:03 03/14/06 Tue
Author: lump
Subject: www.heartless-bitches.com
I love this site (mostly).
The rant page is pretty interesting:
Hi, my name is Andy and I'm a recovering jerk.
...but seriously. There are plenty of us guys out here who are looking for a partner -- in the truest sense of the word. And most guys are clueless about what makes for a good relationship.
Most of the guys from my old neighborhood dated helium-headed bimbos (well, more likely perfectly ordinary women who caved into pressure to act like helium-headed bimbos) and party girls, and had a great time as far as sowing wild oats goes.
But when they felt the pressure to "settle down", they married women they had no real interest in outside of convincing themselves that "she'll make a good wife" (read: "I won't have to feel insecure about her dumping me for someone else").
So now they live in a world where "fun" and "wife" don't show up in the same sentence. She feels ripped off (and rightly so), and he feels trapped into something that wasn't supposed to be this way. The lucky ones have had their midlife crisis, figured out who they really were, and fall in love with each other again. The rest are stuck in a cycle of bitterness that only divorce can solve.
I tried telling my friend Tommy "WTF are you thinking? Your idea of fun is partying, football and fishing. There are plenty of women who like partying, football and fishing. Your fiancee is a nice lady, but she's not what you want & you don't love her. Don't compromise."
All Tommy could say was to repeat some stupid "It's okay to date 'fun' girls but I wouldn't want one to be the mother of my kids" BS. Now Tommy's idea of 'fun' is going to strip clubs and lying to his wife about his drinking. They've got two kids and have been separated twice.
Anyway, thanks to HBI for existing. People need as much positive reinforcement as they can get.
Pretty damn insightful.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- lump, 10:51:57 03/14/06 Tue [1]
Another good one!
Every so often, the television adverts will plug a new women's magazine. "For women like you! For real women! What women really want to know!" usually accompanied by an impossibly clean woman raving at how "like her" this magazine is; she feels as though she's just made a new friend.
Great, another fucking women's magazine, full as ever of dumbed-down worthless crap about who's sleeping with whom, the new Gucci shoes that every girl must have, and of course, everything about MEN. Sure enough, I look at the cover and it's all the same. Tom and Nicole: the Truth! How I got this Amazing Body! Diary of a Divorce! Lose 10lbs in a Week! How to Meet the Man You Never Knew You Wanted!
Don't tell me all women really want to read this soft-soap shit. Who gives a fuck about Tom and Nicole? I think the people who make these magazines secretly despise women. Or they're schizophrenic. Love your body - but diet diet diet. Be happy single - but look for a man. Sort out your finances - but blow £200 on a pair of fucking shoes. Geri Halliwell starves herself & now smokes to look thin - here's a copy of her plan for YOU to follow! We're all independent chicks with brains - now here's an issue full of sex and how to be a total fucking doormat to a man who MUST be a shit, because after all, he's a man isn't he? You still have to please him though. Otherwise, although you're an individual with a life, you'll be a complete loser with no life because you're single. Lesbians? What are those? They're in the gay section, thanks very much. All our women are STRAIGHT and NICE.
I don't swoon over George Clooney. I don't want to look like Kate Moss. I don't identify with Bridget Jones and I think Ally McBeal needs a damn good slap. If I want to lose weight I'll do something about it, and no I don't shriek in horror at a hint of cellulite or stretch marks. I'll love my body because it's healthy, not because it's thin. I'll love my boyfriend because he's a wonderful person, not because he's a man & I have to have one to validate my existence. I don't think chocolate is the only food and I don't brag that I can't even boil an egg. I couldn't give a flying fuck what's going on in soaps this week, what heel I should wear, what new hideous hairstyle I should adopt or what music I should buy. I'll make up my own mind, thanks.
If women's magazines really gave a toss about women, they might actually be interesting to read. Heaven forbid! They're there to keep us in our moronic little Stepford places. Read about Hollywood instead of history. Find out diet tips instead of health statistics. Please your man instead of actually making your own way through life and finding out who you are. Magazines want us all to sit swooning over Brad Pitt & thus be safely out of the world's way. After all, if we actually started thinking, we might realize that Cosmopolitan is as interesting as toilet roll and far less useful. Although, given the amount of shit in both of them, it might be put to some useful task...
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- taurus, 10:59:07 03/14/06 Tue [1]
Thanks, for the link lump. That place is perfect for me, considering I can be a heartless-bitch sometimes. LOL
No seriously, I like it that way!
People who are nice all the time and who are always overly positive, bug the hell outta me and it's not real. Life just isn't that way, it's not interesting that way. It's fun to have things to bitch about! tehehe
Anyway, Thanks again.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- lump, 11:10:09 03/14/06 Tue [1]
Some Things Men Should Know...
(author unknown)
The reason our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually CHANGE our underwear.
The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet bowl.
If we're watching football with you, it's not bonding. We're watching because of the butts.
If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday.
Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
Don't fret if you find out that the postman delivers more than once a day.
Please don't drive when you're not driving.
Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths that you take.
If you were really looking for an honest answer you wouldn't ask in bed.
The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubbernecking at miniskirts.
If only women gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of "who's easy?"
Stop telling us that most male strippers are gay: WE DON'T CARE!
Start parting and combing your hair to one side early in life: You'll never see the island coming.
Have a strong need for male bonding? Visit your proctologist.
Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.
And last but not least...
Eye contact is best established above our shoulder level. Also known as the "they don't talk back" concept.
LOL! Butts. Anyhow - there was also an interesting rant on a guy who only dates "heartless bitches" and why that was pretty good. Makes girls want to open your mouth a little more.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- chrys, 11:19:50 03/14/06 Tue [1]
right on.
very insightful, both of those. i could totally identify with the second one. i haven't actually read too many women's magazines, but i remember being a teenager and reading like seventeen and YM and teen or whatever. i always had some feeling like, i just didn't actually know how to be a girl. it was an awful feeling, but i'd open the magazines and just couldn't find anything to identify with. the music thing especially set me apart. there'd be quizzes in the back about what kind of music girl you are, and i would never like any of them. even the ones around 94, that might mention green day or nirvana, were like, i don't know, so artificial. there was a part of me that wanted to be that kind of girl, or felt like i should, and surely my mom would have loved it, but it was foreign. i think it is to a LOT of people, but we're all told this is what we're supposed to like, supposed to look like, care about, wear, listen to, and so on, and so all those people who don't fit into that or don't relate feel like some sort of outsider. really i think there are more of us than we think, but i don't know, maybe i just don't hang out with people who are into that stuff.
i used to always think that one day i'd like to start a totally different sort of mag for women or teenage girls, w/a totally different focus, that featured interesting stories about people of all body types, all races, orientations, religions, some with tattoos and piercings or dyed hair or whatever, and would be more about real life, issues, and so on. haven't thought of it in ages though.
that first story was interesting too. that guy totally has a point. i think there is a lot of societal pressure to get married, like you're not good enough if you aren't by a certain age. i know girls younger than me who obsess on it,or whose parents do. but i think it's a well-made point that you want to find someone who you really share a bond with and have things in common with, not just someone who will look good posing in front of a white picket fence.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- taurus, 11:36:44 03/14/06 Tue [1]
wallflower or subservient doormat comes to mind. You know the heartless bitches are the ones who have realized we are not the ones who need a man for an identity. We're more realistic about it, and we're not going to go out of our way to please someone else, when they can please themselves. It's about equality and self-respect, so if being heartless maintains our identity, that's the way to be.
I would rather be outspoken and independent than a co-dependent dipshit. Anyway, the guys I've always dated and married, always appreciated that and were likeminded.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- lump, 11:53:35 03/14/06 Tue [1]
1 quote I saw there that I LOVED:
Only dead fish swim with the tide.
Chrys - I think Jane magazine started out trying to be like that, but didn't sell too well. I would be more interesting in seeing a biography type magazine for men and woman both that just shared amazing (and even not so amazing) true life stories about non-celebreties. How so and so made it to the top of Mt. Everest and How she survied a deadly car accident and what has changed. She was heavy through school and beat it. He died for 15 minutes and came back. That kind of stuff. I find that inspiring - second only to nature itself.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- 23, 12:25:57 03/14/06 Tue [1]
"Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie."
It's not been my experience that men are the ones with this problem.
And I totally agree about the women's magazines. They are the most vacuous, soulless piles of paper on the planet. They glorify the surface and trivialize anything of depth. They, in my opinion, hurt women more than almost any other thing on the planet. They set them up for a life of low expectations: they make it seem like a good man, a good body and money to shop with are the pinnacle of existence.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- lump, 13:22:22 03/14/06 Tue [1]
23 - I have to agree with you on the movie thing! LOL!
I wouldn't say that magazines lessen expectations, but give us expectations of what we're to be that aren't capable of. I could stop eating completely and never look like the Olsen twins. I could exercise all day long and never be shaped like Jessica Alba. I'm only 5'2" with decent shoes on. I could never be a happy housewife. I'm too impatient and time-restricted to make a checkerboard cake. The relationship help in these magazines won't work because there's only 1 of me working on it. My child won't eat salmon. And I shop about as effiecently as possible. Oh - and that $150 handbag is out of my league. Hell I can't even get my eyebrows trained to look like Oprahs! They give us all these examples - just like tv - that we are supposed to strive for, when in the end, we're still just ourselves. If you take these magazines to heart - which is impossible for a smarter person because they'll have How to Loose 10 pounds in a Month right next to 4 Delectable Brownie Recipes - you get the picture that you are not good enough. And that's just Family Circle!
I noticed that guys are falling down this spiral now too and their magazines are just as bad. They'll have a half naked absolutely gorgous girl with a bottle of vodka on one page and an article about the top 10 complaints wives have on the next page.
I don't know. That site, btw, is not a man-hating sight at all. It's more of a "WOMAN SPEAK" site - and most men will like you better if you do anyhow (which is the general idea). The name, heartless bitches, is rather sarcastic.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- 23, 13:43:12 03/14/06 Tue [1]
It's a wicked combination. Not only do they give you impossible standards to live up to, they are asking you to strive toward and prioritize all the wrong things (IMO).
Do you ever see any articles in those magazines about trying to become a BETTER PERSON (rather than a more attractive one, or one that has more orgasms, or one that has the coolest clothes)?
I can just imagine the heads that are filled with this nonsense. Basically, they seem to be creating needs and wants where there were none. And those needs and wants they create can be fulfilled by buying something that is being offered by one of their sponsors.
And you're right, "men's" magazines are just as bad - Maxim & the like. All style over substance.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- taurus, 14:03:46 03/14/06 Tue [1]
There seems to be a lack of a middle ground in those magazines, the mens and the womans.
It's one extreme, like the Man Show. I always watched that show and thought Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Corolla weren't real men either. It was idiotic to me, I always thought they were a joke and trying too hard for some "manly" ideal.
Oh Lump, I know what you're saying. I'm not high miantence either. I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl mostly, I like to get a pedicure for the summer and I get my eyebrows waxed but, I'm not walking around in heels, I like comfortable shoes. I also don't have a need either. I like getting new things, but I'm not trendy. Went to Old Navy on the weekend, I love that the peasant skirts are in style and tunic tops, Im in! hooray I'm alos not Betty Crocker or June Cleaver. You know I'm a stay at home mom and I look at it as my part in having a family, I'm not thinking of life as being a pampered princess. If something needs to get done around here, I don't wait for the man to do it, I do it myself!
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- tg, 14:09:59 03/14/06 Tue [1]
lump wrote:
I don't know. That site, btw, is not a man-hating sight at all. It's more of a "WOMAN SPEAK" site - and most men will like you better if you do anyhow (which is the general idea). The name, heartless bitches, is rather sarcastic.
p.s. Yeah, I figured that, it's more about me loving,for woman and men.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- lump, 15:46:48 03/14/06 Tue [1]
Makin' it a girly thread.
YEAH! Taurus! Finally someone else fascinated with peasant (or gypsy) skirts! I have a bunch and rarely ever see anyone else in them. They make me feel like a princess because they spin gracefully when you turn and they absolutely flow when you're climbing or descending stairs! I'm very short, and according to "WHAT NOT TO WEAR" I shouldn't be wearing them...but I love them so! :)
I do wear heels alot and I am trying to be a little more presentable just because I'm having trouble in other areas - so I know if at least I look my best I've got that much. Shallow and sad really. Doesn't seem to affect people too much (in my life - but I am received better from strangers). For instance - today I'm not wearing glasses (like I have for 8 years) to work - and no one has noticed. But it helps how I feel.
And whereas that above does come from commercialism - it's also common sense in today's soo disgustingly look oriented society.
23: Actually, Family Circle does print articles like that. They also usually have an "inspiring" story about someone who does charity work (like last month it was a girl who made blankets for the homeless). And they do have a really nice quote page in each issue that's rather inspiring. But when you take an article with substance and pluck it into Cover Girl adds and how to wear your makeup this month...it seems to get overlooked.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- taurus, 16:18:38 03/14/06 Tue [1]
You work so if I did, i probably would wear heels more. I do wear them in the summer more.
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Re: www.heartless-bitches.com -- lump, 16:33:13 03/14/06 Tue [1]
Yes, I wear them even when I'm not working because I'm so short and to tense up the leg muscles. But then that's probably why my knees sound like snapping wishbones coming down the stairs each morning! lol.
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