Re: Learning To Accept My Body? -- Teen Advice

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 08:25:18 11/08/06 Wed
Author: Ashley Boik
Subject: Re: Learning To Accept My Body?
In reply to: Mariana Costa. 's message, "Learning To Accept My Body?" on 06:59:46 11/08/06 Wed

Mariana,
I really like your advice. It is so true. Too many girls look at celebrities and models and want to look like them. Too many lose reality that not everyone is built that way. Your story is also inspiring and show people that you can love yourself even if you don't have the "model" body type. Everyone is beautiful, they just need to realize it and I know it takes time and everyone has their own struggles, but eventually they realize it.
Take Care,
Ashley Boik

>Week 13 � Giving Advice � Mariana Costa.
>Teen Advice OnLine: Personal � Depression �
>Appearance: Appearance: Learning To Accept My Body?
>
>This question was sent by a 16 years old girl from
>Canada. She says she was anorexic but now her weight
>is normal and she lives a �normal life� but still she
>�hates herself.� She says that now she understands
>that what she doesn�t like is her body frame (huge
>hips, even if she�s not fat). She wants to change it
>so that she �could be happy�. And she also says:
>�I know I can't change my body frame size, I can't
>change my bones. I just have to stay large. Is there
>anything I could do to get a small body frame like
>models and singers?�
>
>I would say to this girl that it may be tempting, but
>to compare her body shape and structure with the
>�small body frame� of models and singers and to want
>to look like them is definitely not healthy or worthy.
>It is just waste of time. Those women are just part of
>a group that corresponds to a given pattern, to a
>stereotype that is considered the best and most
>beautiful. But beauty is something so blurred� of
>course the media wants to convince us that beauty is
>what they show on television and cinema, but� this is
>because they have to sell. Beauty depends on who�s
>looking at you. People have preferences and different
>tastes. Some like this type of body, some like that
>other one. People are always disagreeing about what is
>beautiful and what is not. There is no unanimity about
>it at all.
>
>I would tell this girl she should try and start seeing
>the beauty in her. It is so close and still she is
>unable to see it. Not only physically, but also in
>what concerns her personality. When someone loves
>himself, this person �radiates� a certain kind of
>light� I�m not trying to be romantic; this is just
>what I truly believe. This light enchants everyone
>around. This light makes people feel better� makes
>ONESELF feel good and satisfied.
>
>I�m saying it all out of my own experience. I used to
>be very unhappy with my bone structure too. I have
>large shoulders. When I was younger I believed a large
>shoulder was something to guys. Girls should have
>large hips (just like the girl that sent the
>question), big bottom and the upper part of the body
>should be very slender. You can imagine from where I
>got this idea: I�m Brazilian. It explains everything.
>Beauty is something very cultural, so instead of being
>blindly led by the crowd we should learn to separate
>things: what they tell you that beauty is may not be
>beautiful for everyone: it may not be beautiful FOR
>YOURSELF.
>
>So nowadays I�m very happy with my large shoulders,
>because there are people who like it and more, large
>shoulders are needed to support big breasts, and
>that�s it. There�s nothing wrong. Someone�s body
>should be a motive of preoccupation if it starts
>having problems to carry out its functions properly �
>what would probably mean illness or disease.
>Otherwise, never ever. Of course we can avoid this
>kind of problems by taking care of ourselves BEFORE
>the problem has a chance to show up, eating well and
>exercising, what will, of course, help make our bodies
>be in their best form. And the most important thing:
>it can help us achieve our freedom and happiness.
>
>Mariana Costa.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Re: Learning To Accept My Body? -- Mariana Costa, 10:41:34 11/12/06 Sun