Learning To Accept My Body? -- Teen Advice

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Date Posted: 06:59:46 11/08/06 Wed
Author: Mariana Costa.
Subject: Learning To Accept My Body?

Week 13 � Giving Advice � Mariana Costa.
Teen Advice OnLine: Personal � Depression � Appearance: Appearance: Learning To Accept My Body?

This question was sent by a 16 years old girl from Canada. She says she was anorexic but now her weight is normal and she lives a �normal life� but still she �hates herself.� She says that now she understands that what she doesn�t like is her body frame (huge hips, even if she�s not fat). She wants to change it so that she �could be happy�. And she also says:
�I know I can't change my body frame size, I can't change my bones. I just have to stay large. Is there anything I could do to get a small body frame like models and singers?�

I would say to this girl that it may be tempting, but to compare her body shape and structure with the �small body frame� of models and singers and to want to look like them is definitely not healthy or worthy. It is just waste of time. Those women are just part of a group that corresponds to a given pattern, to a stereotype that is considered the best and most beautiful. But beauty is something so blurred� of course the media wants to convince us that beauty is what they show on television and cinema, but� this is because they have to sell. Beauty depends on who�s looking at you. People have preferences and different tastes. Some like this type of body, some like that other one. People are always disagreeing about what is beautiful and what is not. There is no unanimity about it at all.

I would tell this girl she should try and start seeing the beauty in her. It is so close and still she is unable to see it. Not only physically, but also in what concerns her personality. When someone loves himself, this person �radiates� a certain kind of light� I�m not trying to be romantic; this is just what I truly believe. This light enchants everyone around. This light makes people feel better� makes ONESELF feel good and satisfied.

I�m saying it all out of my own experience. I used to be very unhappy with my bone structure too. I have large shoulders. When I was younger I believed a large shoulder was something to guys. Girls should have large hips (just like the girl that sent the question), big bottom and the upper part of the body should be very slender. You can imagine from where I got this idea: I�m Brazilian. It explains everything. Beauty is something very cultural, so instead of being blindly led by the crowd we should learn to separate things: what they tell you that beauty is may not be beautiful for everyone: it may not be beautiful FOR YOURSELF.

So nowadays I�m very happy with my large shoulders, because there are people who like it and more, large shoulders are needed to support big breasts, and that�s it. There�s nothing wrong. Someone�s body should be a motive of preoccupation if it starts having problems to carry out its functions properly � what would probably mean illness or disease. Otherwise, never ever. Of course we can avoid this kind of problems by taking care of ourselves BEFORE the problem has a chance to show up, eating well and exercising, what will, of course, help make our bodies be in their best form. And the most important thing: it can help us achieve our freedom and happiness.

Mariana Costa.

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Replies:

Re: Learning To Accept My Body? -- Ashley Boik, 08:25:18 11/08/06 Wed
- Re: Learning To Accept My Body? -- Mariana Costa, 10:41:34 11/12/06 Sun
Re: Learning To Accept My Body? -- Jessica Doan (WSU), 19:54:10 11/09/06 Thu
- Re: Learning To Accept My Body? -- Mariana Costa, 10:53:45 11/12/06 Sun