Eliel's peer editing to Marina -- EnglishtextsM

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 16:36:14 06/20/07 Wed
Author: Eliel
Subject: Eliel's peer editing to Marina

Aptitude for foreign languages

Discussing foreign language learning, the topic aptitude is always current. Many people believe that it is necessary to have a talent for learning a foreign language. So, according to these people, not everyone is able to develop this skill. This idea is a belief based on the differences of learning among people. According to Wilkins, �people are not identical in their capacity for learning a foreign language. We expect some people to learn a language better than others� (p. 178). The fact is that we should not say that the difference [due to an aptitude] (Wc) because success or failure can be determined by many other factors such as age, motivation, and learner�s personality. Learning a foreign language is a hard task, but everybody can accomplish it even with [x] a higher level of difficulty.

Comment: first, it is not clear what is your thesis statement. That is ok if you said failure and success is a matter of a group of factors, but you do not explicit the stand you take between the two cases.

First of all, age is an important factor because some skills, depending on the learner�s age, can be more difficult to be achieved. Children, for example, according to some research, learn pronunciation easier than adults. This happens because children do not have the first language so internalized and because of biological factors since children learn, perceive, and produce sounds better than adults. In addition, a child has more time to dedicate and less demands of success, and the vocabulary [Wc] used is not so complex as the vocabulary used with an adult. Those factors facilitate the learning. On the other hand, according to Douglas Brown, �Adults can be superior in a number of aspects of acquisition. They can learn and retain a large vocabulary; they can utilize various deductive and abstract processes to shortcut the learning of grammatical and other linguistic concepts. And in classroom learning, their superior intellect usually helps them to learn faster than [plural] (a child)� (p.87). Thus, we can notice that learners are different, they have specific characteristics and demand different methods.

Comment: as I have said, your stand is not clear in your argumentation.

Another important factor that should be considered is motivation. If [Wc] (we) are motivated, the learning will be faster and easier. According to Wilkins, �If to satisfy our needs, to influence the actions and thoughts of others, to pursue our occupation and our recreation, it is necessary to use a foreign language, then we will learn that foreign language more rapidly and effectively than under any other conditions� (p. 181).

Comment: What did you mean with �to pursue our occupation and our recreation�?
Don�t you think this paragraph was too short to develop your idea and defend your point?

Personality should also be considered because it is extremely related to learning. If the students are shy or if they have little confidence in themselves, they will have (difficult) [plural] in conversation, for example. Then, probably the oral skill will not be well developed. Thus, those student may not have fluency as other students that are talkative, risk-taking, and self-confident. (Nevertheless, this does not determine their success because they can develop other skills better than their classmates. This kind of student can be very good in grammar, writing or listening.) *** From this passage I could suspect you have made a point against your first idea. Did you mean personality does not determine students� success or failure? Was not the contrary you wanted to prove in your first paragraph?

In addition, there are other important factors such as [time of dedication] [Wc: exposure to language or language contact], memory, and real contact with the language [?]. A student that has a good memory or much time to study and dedicate can have better results than those students that only have contact with the foreign language in classroom. Besides, students, that had traveled abroad, had more opportunities to practice and improve their knowledge.

Comment: Now it is just an opinion, It seems you were not so sure of what transition signals you should use. This paragraph is a kind of cracking reading; you should try to smooth the language.

In conclusion, (the success or failure of foreign language learning can be determined by these factors � motivation, age, personality, and so on � and not by a gift or an aptitude for language learning). A student (cannot have) [it is ambiguous, it seems that the student is nor able to have a good pronunciation] a good pronunciation, but this does not mean that [he or she] did not have success in his or her learning or that [he or she][try to generalize it] is not able to learn a foreign language. The fact is that people are different and each one has some skills or intelligences more developed than others [new argument]. Therefore, we need to adapt our skills according to our learning style creating strategies that make up for the skills less developed. This way, the learning will happen even with a higher level of difficulty.

Comment: just now, in your last paragraph it appeared to be your thesis statement, you should not fear being assertive, by using modals you make the sentence too impersonal.
I got the impression of too much Portuguese influence on your text. Some expressions did not sound so English like as they needed to be.

In general your text is good. You should try to organize better your arguments, try to enrich them. And, finally, do not make assumptions that your reader is an expert on the subject

References:

BROWN, H. Douglas. Learner Variables I: Teaching across age levels. In: Teaching by principles: an interactive approach to language pedagogy. 2a ed. White Plains, NY: Longman, c2001, p. 86-95.

WILKINS, D. A. Language Aptitude. In: Linguistics in Language Teaching. Edward Arnold (Published) Ltda., 1975, p. 178-185.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]