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Date Posted: 19:18:23 06/20/07 Wed
Author: Joyce
Subject: Peer editing to Alisson

Hi Alisson!

Actually, I really am having problems with my keyboard... specially when I write in a hurry... kkkk
Thanks for your comments on my essay. But I’m sure that I still have many things to learn as an undergraduate!

Let’s talk about yor text.

You did a good job!
The topic you’ve chosen is very interesting.
You essay is also well written and your developmental paragraphs well structured.
Regarding your introduction, your thesis statement is very clear, however I think you should omit this part “the aim of this paper is to show that...” in order to make you text more inviting to you reader.

Cheers,

Joyce

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