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Date Posted: 15:31:51 04/16/07 Mon
Author: Eliel Soares
Subject: Peer editing to Fernanda Dias (continuous acessment)

Dear Fernanda,


The introduction of your text brings the topic to the reader as a possibility of something very useful to our work as teachers.
Congratulations!
My comments on your texts regard strictly on the stylistic matter. Once your text has been constructed in a very clear and well-done exposition of the topic, It needs no corrections. By this way, I send you my suggestions, they follow per paragraph.


2nd paragraph
I noticed some repetition of the word “as” in this paragraph. Check on your text, you started the first and the second periods with “As”. It may cause your text to be boring.

3rd paragraph
“The most as possible”: I think you could change this expression to another. I thought of changing most to widely. It would be better, wouldn’t it?
In “explicitly express”, it is also repetitive, or pleonastic. How ‘bout “show clearly”?
“Proposing activities to them”: It ‘s too Portuguese like.
“By interacting ….”: It is also Portuguese like. I mean, the word “Interacting” sounds our gerund beginning a clause “Interagindo, eles se expressam … ”.

4th paragraph
Rewrite: I do think you changed the word in “real progress of students troughout their learning progress” (Would not it be process???).

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