| Subject: Re: smoking and personality... |
Author:
Will
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Date Posted: 18:44:18 05/07/07 Mon
In reply to:
Milo
's message, "Re: smoking and personality..." on 13:10:51 05/07/07 Mon
Hey Milo -
To weigh in, sounds like a good approach with Sara under the circumstances that you laid out. Also, do not think you are alone in "waking up" to this attraction and trying to figure it out. Speaking guy to guy, I am in the same spot. As I mentioned to Linda in an earlier post, I am just becoming aware of this attraction myself after I recently started. I do not know if it was always there and for one reason or another I just suppressed it and it came to life when I started, or perhaps the discussion on this board brought it to the surface. I have no idea, but I found myself a little embarrassed when I realized it when Justin (I think) posted some utube videos and I found myself attracted to some of the girls smoking. What was nice and made me feel a little better is to have learned from him (and others) that it is perhaps not that uncommon, and I was relieved when Linda shared that a girl can feel the same way! All of these things make me feel more comfortable with this attraction, but again it is not something I would share with a girl on a first date! I guess another nice thing for me is that in addition to starting to accept this as not completely unusual (i.e. I do not need to go into therapy tomorrow), is that from discussions that Linda has shared with us, that this attraction can lead to exciting interactions (so to speak) in relationships down the road if you meet a girl who is understanding of it, or even feels the same way. To me, that is something that is worth looking forward to when (and if) the time comes. It also makes me feel more comfortable with my recent decision to start to think that it can bring another pleasurable aspect to a relationship down the road. Granted, not everyone may feel this way and it certainly is not a reason for someone to start, but for me at this point I seem to find myself in this group that finds it exciting to some degree. I hope this makes sense and I welcome any feedback from male or female.
Thanks!
Bill
>Linda, I’ll go for the second option (telling her she
>captured my attention) as she doesn’t look like a
>person who wants to be told she is “hot” by a person
>who almost didn’t talk to her before. In addition I
>wouldn’t be very comfortable doing that. I will let
>you know about this whole thing…
>
>I am not sure yet if I find it erotic to watch at
>girls smoking, I guess I do somehow, but I am still on
>my way exploring this side of smoking which I never
>took into consideration. Sara is the first person that
>makes me feel like this, before that I found smoking a
>rather senseless action. But now I feel things are
>slowly changing. To put in a simple way, it’s like
>when you start looking at older girls rather than at
>teenagers; it’s something of an evolutionary process,
>but is this normal?...
>
>
>
>>Personally, Milo, I don't think that you will score
>>any points with Sara by telling her that she looks
>>"cute" smoking. I think that many girls who smoke in
>>public like to think they look very hot and very
>>desirable, not "cute".
>>
>>If you're not comfortable telling her that you were
>>turned on watching her smoke, then tell her what you
>>told me - "Sara, when I saw you smoke, you really
>>captured my attention". If she smiles and says
>>"Thanks", that means she wants to hear more from you,
>>and you could say "I really think that you look so
>>mature and confident when you smoke". If she reacts
>>well to that, then take it from there. And if you
>>don't expect to run into her within the next month, I
>>think you should call her, whether or not she already
>>has a boyfriend. Who knows, maybe she has another
>>smoking friend she can introduce you to.
>>
>>As far as why you like a smoking girl more than one
>>who doesn't smoke, I feel the same way when I watch
>>attractive guys and girls smoke - it's very erotic. I
>>can't really explain why, and one of the things I like
>>to learn on this board is what turns other people on
>>about smoking. Some people like to see a lot of
>>exhaled smoke, others like to watch deep inhales, etc.
>>
>>
>>Anyway, good luck and keep us posted.
>>
>>Linda
>>
>>>Linda, well, I'm not sure if I already really like
>>>Sara. For sure she captured my attention a lot. She
>>>lives close to the place I am staying but I think she
>>>has already a boyfriend. Anyway next time we meet I
>>>could make a remark about her looking cute smoking
>>>just to see how she'll react. At least this gave me
>>>something to think about, why do I like a smoking
>girl
>>>more than one who doesn't smoke? Any comments or
>>>similar experiences?! I'll keep you updated... (Milo)
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>
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