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| Subject: A tale of two titties. | |
Author: Paul | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 02:30:55 11/25/07 Sun . A tale of two titties (Click here) A tale of two titties. Now gather ‘ere me lovelies, As I tell the tale of how, I tried my hand at getting, Some fresh milk from a cow, The Farmer ‘ee says, “She’ll be right”, “You’m better warm thee hands” “Cos Daisy is a delicate cow” “ Tender teats you understands”, So sitting on a wooden stool, I rummaged down below, To the warm and ample udder, Daisy shuffled to and fro, “Grip and pull” The Farmer said, “Nice and gentle if you please”, So I grabbed the moo-cow titty, Then I firmly gave a squeeze, “It works!” I cried in triumph, As the milk came without fail, Squitty-squirting as I urged, The lactose into the pail, Soon I formed a rhythm, Upon Nature’s bovine creation, Pint after pint of creamy milk, From my teat manipulation, Now Daisy swished her tail about, Her hoof scraped on the floor, As I tugged upon her suckle valves, Intent on collecting more, “One more squeeze”, I told myself, As I grabbed her in my hand, Leaning forward carefully, Yet all was not as planned, Daisy gave a grumbled “MOOOOOO” Then snorting from her snout, She trampled on my extended foot, Which has a touch of gout, I yelled in pain and agony, The stool tipped to the right, The milk went flying through the air, As I disappeared from sight, Now prostrate, upon the floor, Behind distressed Dais-ee, My sense of humour completely failed, As the daft cow had a wee, Enter then the Farmer, Who chuckled ‘neath his hat, Because Daisy had not finished yet, As she dropped a steaming pat! Humiliated by it all, I staggered down the lane, Coated in Moo-cow muck I was, I won’t do that again, Now I buy my milk in store, No more pulling teats for me, ‘Tis far too dangerous ‘neath a cow, As far as I can see. © Paul Osborne 2007. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: A tale of two titties. | |
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Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 02:38:23 11/25/07 Sun ~ lmao...I soooo needed to hear this again, tonight :) I remember the first time I heard this accent back in the 70's, and it cracked me up back then...it still does..and thank you SO much for doing the audio of this poem in THIS accent...he he *kiwi hugs* Sash xx . [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: AnneMarie [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:26:19 11/28/07 Wed Bloody daft lad~Rotflmao...Love it..Pau,l you ROCK~ Cheers, AnneMarie [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: andy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 20:45:57 11/28/07 Wed Paul, Ok, first I had to wait to stop laughing to type. While waiting without realizing it I was still reading the poem after the voice was done. Then I started laughing at what i was reading so I just said ok let me just get up for a minute and go get something to drink. here I am now about four minutes later typing the reply. You have suck knack for metered rhyme and your sense of humor is both clever and well calculated. This is just too special to even try to fully express. Bottom line; it's as good as it gets for doing what you are doing here. Top notch! What a Tittie treat it is, andy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Mick [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 13:13:53 11/30/07 Fri Outstanding! Loved the accent! Loved the tale! I keep listening to the introduction :) The whole thing is excellent, but that REALLY cracks me up. The delivery was perfect. Well done. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 09:22:51 12/10/07 Mon  ~ CONGRATULATIONS on this spotlight, dear Paulie!!!! you're not only an awesome poet, but a comical genius and this piece is a fantastic example of that... well done, hon you rock!!!! *warm hugs* Sash xx  . [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Christine [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:58:16 12/10/07 Mon You Sooooooo crack me up, Paul!! Congratulations on the spotlight!! ~Hugs~ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Tammy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:30:52 12/11/07 Tue ***Applause*** WOO HOO Paul! Congrats...LMAO This is the humour I have come to love from you! Absolutely gut laughing here! LOL I love ya for that Pauly! Oh boy...LOl Loved it! Hugs, Tammy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Ash (laughing) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 23:29:44 01/12/08 Sat This was brilliant Paul... and the accent made it even better! Excellent work! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Paul [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:18:31 01/22/08 Tue Dear all, Sorry I haven't replied sooner, to be honest I forgot all about this one. I love the west country and the warm and generous folk who live there.This poem just sprang onto the page one day, and then Sash persuaded me to record it. I am always amazed by your generous comments, thank you all for you kindness, Peace and love, Paul. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Wilopent [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 07:23:50 01/26/08 Sat What a fun delight, Paul! I love how you immersed yourself in this milky tale and spoke it just as I imagined it to sound. Ah . . . such talent and wonderful humor! Congratulations! xoxo Wilopent [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |