Author:
Phil the Builder
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Date Posted: Thursday, February 25, 2021, 06:46: pm
I helped put a new roof on my brother Ted's house two years ago after a hail storm beat his metal roof to pieces. He decided to go with a traditional shingle roof because the insurance company wouldn't pay to replace the metal one unless it was perforated with holes. So he called upon me to remove the old metal and get to work on the new roof. I had the men from my contract crew help out. First day we were up there, I wind up puncturing my hand on an old nail near the chimney. Ted's wife Mandy is an LPN. I came down the ladder and showed her what happened. She cleaned it up with betadine and wrapped it in gauze and tape. She asked me how long it had been since I had a tetanus shot. I honestly couldn't remember when I had my last...20 years maybe? She said, "uh, that's not going to fly darling." I told her I'd probably be fine, and she gave me a funny look like I was crazy or something. She told Ted she needed to go to her healthcare office to get some supplies for home visits the next day. I got on a good pair of gloves and started loading old metal roofing to haul off. About 30 minutes later Mandy returned. She had a plastic storage bin with medical supplies, and went in the house. A few minutes later she opened the front door and motioned me to come in the house. I stepped in and she said "come here Phil". I followed her to the guest bathroom. First thing I saw on the vanity by the sink was a loaded syringe and an alcohol swab. My heart skipped a beat. Oh no I thought. Mandy said "Phil honey, you need this shot. You're liable to get lockjaw off that nail." I was like "c'mon Mandy, it wasn't that bad a wound, I'll be fine." Mandy said "you've got nothing to lose letting me give you this tetanus shot. Just turn around and bend over the sink and drop your drawers over your butt to one side." I said "Mandy, I love you like a sister, but I can't let you give me a shot in the ass. What will Ted think?" She said "Ted doesn't care! I give people shots in the butt all the time. Besides, he's flying a 737 to Denver today." I though to myself, oh well, what the heck. I bent over and undid my belt. I held on to my jeans to keep them from falling to the floor. Mandy reached behind me, lifted the back of my shirt, and pulled my drawers down on the left side just below my crack. As she swabbed alcohol on the upper part of my butt cheek, she told me "these TD boosters tend to sting a little, but I promise it only lasts a few seconds, okay." I saw her pick up the syringe and uncap it. The needle on that thing looked like a mechanical pencil lead...GULP. She reached behind me, I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. I felt a hard pinch, then quickly a sting. "All done, now was that so bad?" Mandy asked. My ass was still stinging some, but like she said, it was starting to fade to a dull ache. She said "you'll be kind of sore for about three days, but it shouldn't cause you much trouble." I looked back in the mirror, a tiny drop of blood was showing where she jabbed me. She put a cotton ball on it to stop the bleeding, then covered it in a bandaid. She said "you're good to go for 10 years babe." She also told me to go straight to the hospital if I started getting any of the symptoms of lockjaw, just in case I didn't get immunity in time from the vaccine. My butt ached something terrible the next day. I sent another foreman to take over from another job I had going on. He had a roof on that house by 5PM. I'm glad, because I don't think I could've walked up that ladder in the shape I was in. I told my wife about my nail injury. But I lied and told her Mandy sent me to the minute clinic, and the nurse there gave me a shot in the ass. Looking back, I still can't believe I let my brother's gorgeous wife see my ass, then give me a shot there. It's not like I propositioned her for it, she insisted on giving it to me. Nothing sexual whatsoever, but it's not something you'd ever expect to happen with your sister-in-law.
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