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Subject: Re: Spanking of our Older Teens and College Students Author: Laura [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 20:38:22 09/07/24 Sat In reply to: Maddie 's message, "Re: Spanking of our Older Teens and College Students" on 16:16:56 09/07/24 Sat You certainly did not, and I know exactly what you meant. I've seen it myself. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Spanking of our Older Teens and College Students Author: Destiny [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:12:14 09/07/24 Sat My pastor's wife gave us an article by Selwyn Duke that made a wise point on this: The failure to spank your children is not just a difference, but a symptom. People who won’t lay a hand or switch on their child's bare bottom embrace a completely different parenting philosophy than those who will. The difference is not just that they won’t apply the rod — it’s that they lack what I call a 'rod mentality.' That is to say, to such parents, discipline is often a dirty word. They tend to be overly permissive, set poor examples, be inconsistent in moral guidance and not teach responsibility. They are unlikely to view themselves as absolute authority figures but, rather, will treat the family as a democracy (without a constitution). They are more apt to want to be buddies than parents to their children. Destiny [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Spanking of our Older Teens and College Students Author: VoR [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 18:51:56 09/09/24 Mon That is just someone's opinion. Anyone can write an article. No one in my family has had a 'rod mentality' for decades, though other forms of discipline are and have been used. Everyone is doing okay to great. Mountains of research involving other families support my experience. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Spanking of our Older Teens and College Students Author: Destiny [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:56:16 09/17/24 Tue The point this person was making was that it was not the actual spanking which made the difference, but that families which spank tend to run a more disciplined structured household. While I am a believer in spanking, I know there are parents who have what he calls a "rod mentality" without ever once laying a hand across their child's bottom, and raise wonderful children. This is in contrast to the common result of modern permissive parenting. Destiny [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Spanking of our Older Teens and College Students Author: VoR [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:49:58 09/19/24 Thu "The failure to spank your children is not just a difference, but a symptom. People who won’t lay a hand or switch on their child's bare bottom embrace a completely different parenting philosophy than those who will." How is this a statement that allows for parents who do not physically punish their children to be effective disciplinarians? And then what is "rod mentality?" If it's not about laying a hand or switch on a "child's bare bottom," then why offer that lurid concept as its definition? Permissive is also a subjective term. What kinds of children do we want to raise? If we're just going to throw out examples we know in order to justify our opinions, I've known adults who were raised with a "rod mentality" who are unethical, bitter control freaks, and lack compassion for others. Bottom line, there are all kinds of people raised all kinds of ways, and there is no real evidence that "families which spank" are creating more wonderful children than those who don't. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Spanking of our Older Teens and College Students Author: stripey7 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:21:18 09/11/24 Wed While this may be true in some cases, there's no necessary relationship between these things. My parents had relatively few rules but enforced the ones they set, and this didn't change when they stopped spanking and started to rely on other punishments instead. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Spanking of our Older Teens and College Students Author: SJ [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:01:15 09/19/24 Thu As far as I am concerned, any religious organisation that advocates the frequent beating of children or older females is not a church/synagogue/mosque but a cult. And that last word was not a misprint lol! [ Post a Reply to This Message ]