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>Mr. Scamptoo, my name is Agnes and I am Donny and >Evie's mother and Donny didn't show me your note--I >saw it when I came here to see if anyone commented on >the message I had Donny write FOR ME TO POST HERE. > >For your information I read a lot about maintenance >spanking on this site and on others before I decided >to use a form of it on my children. The key to mine >being that for the time being they would both be >spanked three times a week and more if I didn't see a >big improvement in their conduct and behavior--which >my husband and I have already seen as Donny >mentioned--and which we are truly delighted with. > >I have read a lot of your emails in the last three or >four weeks and you seem like a very nice man who >believes children benefit from spankings, but like so >many people you also seem to have very strong and >fixed feeling about the "right" and "wrong" way to do >things. You wanted Donny to show me your note so I >would go back and read the posts on this subject more >carefully so I would "learn" that many people decide >not to do maintenance spankings like they have been >doing their punishment spankings--that they do them >much less severely but on a regular basis rather than >for particular offenses or conduct. > >Yes, Nr. S, I saw that suggestion many times, okay? >But I also saw that others who use maintenance >spankings disagree and still give quite severe >spankings when they do their maintenance >spankings--much more like their regular spankings of >their kids for bad conduct. In effect, people do not >all agree on every aspect of the maintenance spankings >they give. Did you not notice that? Maybe you, and not >me, should go back and read the reports more carefully. > >In my case, the spankings we have given for years >include the use of a wooden spoon when I spank, and >of my husband's belt when he spanks. We are >comfortable with that. It works for us. We do like the >idea of regular spankings for our two, but--for >example--giving either of ours a pittypat spanking of >20 spanks and saying run along now and be good, we >know would be a joke. > >When we spank our kids the way Donny described (and he >did a good job of that I must say), they get the >message we want to give them, okay? And Mr. S, since >we have been spanking our kids since they were >preschool toddlers, we really don't need instruction >from you or anyone else as to how to spank them. >Suggestions are always welcome--but comments which >suggest "you are wrong because you are not doing >things the way I think they should be done, or the way >these 20 parents do it with their kids--that is just >inappropriate. Like the idea of suggesting there is >only one way to do maintenance spankings on a regular >basis--one way, that's it. > >But, Mr. S., as one example, telling Donny (and Evie) >that parents who use maintenance spankings "don't use >implements" is so plainly wrong it is ludicrous. Even >the very nice Lindsay on this site who has instructed >many parents in how to do such spankings leaves room >for the use of a paddle for the punishment part of the >regular maintenance sessions she describes. (Since she >deals mostly with quite young children, she recommends >like "5 extra spanks" and the like for that punishment >phase of her "routine"--which, works fine with the >kids she is dealing with but, as I pointed out, would >be laughable with my kids.) > >Further you have overstepped yourself when you presume >to tell my child, "I hope that you let your mom read >this message so she can see that maybe she read those >messages wrong." That's pretty nervy of you, I must >say to imply to a child that his mother is a little >dense where you are so smart and know how things >should be. I suspect you are the one who needs to read >the posts on this subject (and others) more closely, >and not alone because of your "implements are not >used" statement. > >That comment by you that you hope he shows your note >to me demonstrates beyond question how stupidly and >carelessly YOU read these posts--because Donny made >clear that he did not put that note on this site--that >I would put his note on this site for him! > >HE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THESE FORUMS AND HAS NOT READ >ANY NOTES ON HERE because I did not want him reading >generally on here. I gave him and Edie selected pages >of certain posts that were fine for them to read. Now >that was made eminently clear in his note, BUT YOU >MISSED THAT ENTIRELY!--while telling my son you hoped >he would show me your note and maybe I would go back >and read the notes more carefully! I am a college >grad, by the way, raising two youngsters and I really >don't need instruction from someone who makes comments >like that and has clearly not understood the note he >is commenting on. > >As I say, different strokes for different folks, Mr. >S, and there are different ways to do things for >different people--like maintenance spankings. That >subject is not a case of "ONE way or the HIGHWAY"! > >Agnes

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