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>Hi, thanks for everything. You sound like the most >mature teenager I have ever met. I can relate to your >feelings, and for me, the guilt and disappointment on >my mother's face were the worst punishments. > >Going back to my daughter. She used to be a sweet >angel when she was little. Up to 5-6 I sometimes >yelled after her when she had ran away too far, or was >doing something she shouldn't have. She always felt >remorseful, hearing her full name, and sudden change >in my voice. > >After that, when she was getting older, we were >talking a lot. Many times, I let her feel the >consequences of her own actions. When she forgot her >chores, she was given additional work around the >house. When she spilled out something, she had to >clean it. When she ruined another pair of white socks >in the sandbox, I let her try washing them herself, >knowing she wouldn't be able to. Even I couldn't... > >It was the best time of our life, and she was well >behaved overall. I was proud of her, and everything >was perfect. > >Gradually, she was talking less and less, about her >feelings, things she had done. It was difficult to >have a conversation like we used to have, when she was >literally barking her answers at me. > >When she started coming home late, skipping some >classes, stopped studying I tried talking with her >about it with little to no effect. > >The first punishment was the lack of rewards for good >behaviour, she shrouded it off saying that she didn't >have to go on a trip with me. Or she didn't need this >or that. I know she felt bad about it, but she played >it cool. > >Then I started taking away her privileges, earlier >curfew, no Internet, earlier bedtime, no sleepovers, >additional chores around the house. Around that time I >started threatening her with a spanking. Somewhat >playfully, somewhat seriously... And then I promised >her an actual spanking if she wouldn't change her >behaviour. > >I cannot even tell you how awful I felt looking for an >implement that would hurt, but wouldn't leave marks. >Even then, just getting her to cry, and then few more >was enough. At least I hoped it would have be. > >Sadly, here we are, with my daughter getting spanking >after a spanking, and not making any sense to me. If I >had to present my bare bottom on a pillow, and get >spanked until my bottom turned red, I would be the >most behaved child on this planet. My daughter is for >a week, and then there's something. I try to give her >another chance, nope... > >I don't like how the only potential solution to the >problem is spanking my daughter more harshly to make >sure the lesson won't be forgotten the next week....

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