| Subject: Betty: A PRIVATE message to you (inside) |
Author:
Dora Denkins
|
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Date Posted: 20:04:32 12/16/02 Mon
In reply to:
Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian
's message, "A Plea from a True Christian" on 11:11:48 12/16/02 Mon
Betty:
Your words are like so much dog poopy under my sandals! You are such a showboating b-i-t-c-h. You know how I have been terrorized by church collectors and you never raised a finger – not once – to help me.
You even said some very horrible lies about me on "The View." Don't think I didn't know that nasty comment to that fat negress Star Jones "Saved women don't get Brazilian bikini waxes" wasn't about me!
Don't every come and visit me in Miami. After all you've done you would never be safe on any of my balconies. I would never be able to resist knocking that bony body of yours to your death. Just the thought of you bloody and mandgled dangling from a palm tree below gives me the giggles and feel like another cocktail.
Buzz off!
Dora
>Dear Sister-in-Christ Dora:
>
>Dora, you know that I love you with a heart
>overflowing with Christian concern. While many other
>respectable friends have rightly abandoned you for
>being trash, wishing not to sully their good names by
>being associated with someone as tawdry as you, I have
>leant my good Christian name to your all-but-worthless
>cause by telling all who will listen that "Dora
>Denkins, while making Jesus vomit, is a harlot the
>Lord Jesus has not quite given up on yet."
>
>I am too bathed in Christian modesty to tell you the
>number of prayer circles I have led, invoking your
>wicked name and asking the Lord (sometimes with a
>lovely tear coming out of my left eye) to rescue you
>from being a filthy amoral slut. True, the Lord has,
>by all evidence, chosen to ignore my pleas, but that
>doesn't mean He has necessarily decided to fling your
>well-used body into the flames of Hell, dear.
>
>There is still hope that the Lord Jesus will not
>torture you in Hell! But the first step must be
>yours. And you know what it is, dear. You must make
>yourself right with Jesus. Maybe then, He will know
>you are alive, much less answer your prayers. And how
>do you make yourself right with the Lord? You must,
>of course, call the tithing department at Landover
>Baptist and get your appallingly past-due account
>current. It is only then that Jesus will give you the
>time of day. Otherwise, you are lost, dear. So sad.
>Jesus wept -- and so shall I.
>
>Yours in the Blood of the Perfect Lamb,
>
>Betty
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