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Date Posted: 21:02:30 12/15/99 Wed
Author: Chris King
Subject: The Chris King Show!!

(The show starts. A sign flashes "The Chris King show." The theme song plays very f*cking loud. Chris King is behind a desk with a hand full of cards.)

Chris King: Welcome back a**holes to the Chris King show. We're on the phone with Larry Johnson from the Jake Stevens haters club. Larry, what's your thoughts on Jake?

Larry: (On phone) We here think he's a s-stupid f*cking jerk! We hope you put his a** away for a long time!

(crowd cheers)

Chris King: Oh, I will. His ass belongs to me. Just as soon as Corey kicks it, it's mine! Bwahwhahhaha!!

Larry: That's good to know. Jake is a dumb d*ck sucker.

Chris King: Bring in our first guest...Ed "The nut"!!

(Ed comes in. The crowd cheers.)

Chris King: Now, Ed, you're in the same f*cking nuthouse as Jake right? Anything you want to tell us?

Ed: Yeah. He's not really that tough. He's always crying in the corner and pissing all over the place. He's always getting his ass kicked. Lemme tell you something, that man will do ANYTHING for a cigarette.

(Crowd cheers)

Chris King: Ooohh, like what?

Ed: I can't say it on the air but it has to do with (bleeped out because it's really sick)!!!

(Crowd gets sick.)

Chris King: Eeeewww. Jake, you're not tough and I'm going to kick your ass punk! Let's take a commercial break!

(The show goes to commercial)

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