VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1 ]
Subject: Re: A poem: The Suicide Of God


Author:
George the Porge
[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
Date Posted: 17:19:38 04/09/02 Tue
In reply to: Preston 's message, "A poem: The Suicide Of God" on 10:40:38 04/07/02 Sun

I don't want to hate you 'cause you're ugly... I'd rather worship your small penis.

Poem: I dig it whole-heartedly... especially the line about the raincloud countenance. And the description of "salty red doors." I'm all for that.

Revisions I'd make:
Capitalize Loki (heh.. not really revision, but yeah, you know)
The last line bothers me. It's just the rest of the poem is so fantastic and then it kind of slams shut like a door. "God is dead..." I like (Say, ever seen that Kids in the Hall skit "God is dead... and he's really very small" Good stuff, that) but the very last line just seems kind of ordinary/trivial. This might be what you're going for... but I like the stately grace created in the first part of the poem.

Anyways, my two cents.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: A poem: The Suicide Of Godpreston18:39:54 04/09/02 Tue


Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]


Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.