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Date Posted: 14:24:35 04/13/05 Wed
Author: Chris
Subject: Not my business
In reply to: elia 's message, "Re: hum... i don't understand the point here" on 09:38:00 04/13/05 Wed

Elia, I think you reveal an inconsistency in your thoughts that I often observed in UBF members. On the one side, you say about the problems in your chapter (and obviously even more about the problems in other chapters like Chicago):

most of them are not of my business, so...

On the other side, you defend the UBF idea of always interfering in the "business" of the "sheep":

there can be things or problems with you you're not even realizing, but other people do. so they talk to you about it and try to help you. that's not all bad i think.

Actually this is pretty much the case in UBF. There are problems that the leaders don't realize, but other people do. But these other people don't talk about it and don't try to help them. This is why people like Sarah Barry and Samuel Lee gained so much power, because nobody believed to have the right to criticize them, because it "was not their business."

Once I talked with Wesley Song, on of the oldest missionaries in our chapter about a forced divorce and other problems. He even admitted some of the problems. I told him that it was his duty to point these things out to the chapter leader and confront him with these issues, since he was the missionary with the highest age, rank and respect in our chapter. But he told me that he believed that it was not responsible, "it was not his business", he was not "entitled to" speak with him. Actually, in UBF you are only "entitled" to rebuke or critice "subordinate" people, i.e. your "sheep." That's why UBF is so ill. Samuel Lee was entitled ot rebuke everybody in UBF, but nobody was entitled to criticize him. Even in your chapter, nobody ever dared to really criticize Abraham Lee, instead, his authority was confirmed, increased, beefed up, and that's why things have now acuminated.

Once, when I talked with Kaleb Hong about what I had read in the Internet about UBF, Kaleb told me that I did not have the full picture, since I only read the English and German web pages. But he claimed "I have read all web pages", including the Korean. His conclusion was that since his information was larger, his assessment and conclusion was correct, and mine wrong. Later, when Sarah Hong rebuked me in the Bible study for not enviting enough students and reading too much in the Internet, I objected by saying her husband told me that he read even more in the Internet. Guess what he response was: "This is not my business." Do you see the problem? She believed it was her business to criticize me for something, while it was not her business to criticize her own husband for doing the same.

As long as everybody thinks "it is not my business," or "I don't know the truth and actually I do not really want to find out the truth" the leaders can do whatever they like, even force abortions.

That's one of the fundamental problems that UBF is sick with.

Actually it is your business if top leaders of your church do things like forcing abortions or misappropriating money, and if other members of your church are suffering from the abuse of these leaders.

The apostle Paul says about the church: "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it". He also criticized the church in Corinth because they did not care when one person sinned in the church, probably believing it was their business. Every problem in your church is actually your problem. Particularly if you see that nobody else cares. An attitude of "this is not my business" is not very Christian.

I don't want to blame you, as I myself have been part of that culture, too. Let me give you one small example, an experience with your chapter leader Abraham Lee.

It was on a mission journey, in Moscow. We were sitting with packed things waiting for our bus bringing us to the airport. In order to not be a trouble or burden for the group, I had my things, including my pen and paper packed so that everything could be stored into the bus quickly and we would not miss the plane. I did not know that the bus was coming later, but Abraham was informed about that. So I was thinking we had to hurry up, but Abraham knew we had some minutes anyway. He used it to give us some "prayer topics." They were the very usual kind of prayer topics, mostly consisting of numbers goals. Then he noticed I did not write down every word he said, and he rebuked me and scolded at me terribly in front of all others. "Don't you care for our prayer topics?" etc. Actually I think his pride was hurt since I did not seem to esteem his authority and words so much as he was used from the Cologne members in the group. It was a typical case of spiritual abuse. I had done nothing wrong, and even if he thought it was a problem he could have spoken with me privately in a normal way. Anyway, that's not my point here. My point is that I did not speak up, nor did anybody else in the group. Everybody simply swallowed it. I believed I was not "entitled to" criticize or challenge the Europe UBF director, and so did the others. It was not "our business." So he was hardly ever challenged for these incidents of spiritual abuse, neither these small ones, nor larger ones. And this had set the stage for him. You start to think that such things are "normal" because nobody objects and everybody seems to accept it. Again, please understand me correctly. I'm not blaming Abraham here, I'm blaming myself for being so cowardly and not speaking up when I should have spoken up. There were other cases, were other people were treated badly, and I did not speak up either. We all had this "it is not our business" mentality.

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Replies:

Re: Not my business -- elia, 17:18:50 04/13/05 Wed
Not my business because of what UBF teaches us -- PECAS, 20:53:40 04/13/05 Wed