What do you want from UBF? -- RSQUBF discussion forum

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Date Posted: 01:47:57 10/16/04 Sat
Author: Bob2
Subject: What do you want from UBF?
In reply to: Brian Karcher 's message, "Re:" on 10:29:52 10/13/04 Wed

Brian,

Sorry for responding late. I might not be able to discuss this matter on this forum since you said "good bye". Any way, thanks for kind-of-admitting that "yes, somethings were done wrongly?" Brian, in actuality, many things were done wrongly. We could have a detailed account of my time in the Toledo UBF in 97-98. My return to Hamilton UBF in May '98, was a kind of mini-escape from UBF. I wanted out of there asap.

What do I want from UBF? Well, I'm just going to mention two thing. These have been restated elsewhere, but I will keep it simple.

First, the "shepherding/discipleship" paradigm in UBF 1 to 1 must end. As other recent posts have shown, this paradigm is limited in that it does not foster a spirit-filled and God-trusting life. It also opens the door to various kinds of coersion by "shepherds" that leads to abusive behaviour. In human government, where a high level of coercive power is permitted there are at least avenues for dissent. To my knowledge, there are no accepteable forms of dissent in the UBF. So, we need an end to programmed coersion, or an acceptable avenue/institution for dissent.

Secondly, UBF must end its exclusivism. I'm not talking necessarily about any kind of organic union with other Christian communities, but rather relational interaction with other christian communities. Some people call this ecumenicism, I call it loving your neighbour. While in UBF, I became so isolated in the name of the UBF program that I almost had no friends for 10 years other than my UBF colleagues. This was very unhealthy and ungodly. The amount of toxic UBF self-aggrandizement that I swallowed made me find a reason to distance myself from almost all of the community around me. "They're old christians", "old wineskin christians" etc. This exclusivism has caused a lot of damage to alot of people not unlike the practice of the Pharisees who claimed to be spiritual elite. The reason for being exclusive has always been, that we in UBF are mission centred. We have a mission. We don't have time to interact, share, communicate, fellowship with others outside our community. This is a load of non-sense.

Brian, I can't change what happened to me in UBF. But, UBF can change or it can disappear.

Bob2

>>Although I explained to Brian about my bad
>>experience in the Toledo UBF, Brian has not publically
>>sought to give any recognition of harmful behaviours
>>in his ministry and has even suggested that "victims"
>>are possibly culpible themselves. This really hurts
>>and is to some degree slanderous.
>
>Robert, yes, you did explain your bad experience. In
>fact, I saw your experience and the experience of
>Patricia long before she knew you, from an insider's
>viewpoint.
>
>I do not blame you; yes there were things done
>wrongly, in my opinion, on both sides.
>
>What do you want from UBF? Are you saying you are a
>helpless victim who had no part in anything that
>happened? Are you saying you had no choice whatsoever
>in anything?
>
>You may not believe this, but I consider you a brother
>in Christ.
>
>Brian.

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