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Date Posted: 21:36:41 09/25/03 Thu
Author: Jenna
Subject: I've lost the 'chair obsession. For good this time.

I'm serious. It's been gone for a while now, but I was almost scared to say anything. It's weird. The last time I went emotionally-silverchair-bankkrupt, it was heartbreaking - I bawled for days. Turns out I was just bored, and after Diorama was released, I was back to my old self.

It's different this time. I'm sad that I've moved on and left a little piece of me behind, but to be 100% frank... I just don't care anymore. I'll still buy any new album they put out, and I'll still check chairpage from time to time to see if anything major's happened, but... it's just GONE. I didn't even realize it was fading until it was too late. The band will always be a part of my life, and I'll always have a place for the music and the boys in my heart, but I can't rightfully call myself a chairhead anymore.

Would I go see them in concert again? Yes. But only if it was the same kind of experience as the first time. The Toronto show was amazing, but it wasn't just because of the band playing on stage. It was because I was in this fantastic, independant, creative state of mind, and I had Nora with me, which, honestly, was one of the highlights of my life. I think Nora will agree that when we first met in the lobby of the hostel, it was like there was this instant bond between us. I felt so comfortable with her, which was kind of unexpected, really. But anyways, I don't think I'd go see a silverchair show with anyone BUT one (or more) of you guys. Based on the experience of meeting Nora, I'd assume that I have that strange silverchair-connection with all of you, and even though I'm not a chairhead anymore, seeing a 'chair show in your respective or collective company would still be fulfilling, you know?

I'd bet you a loonie that last paragraph didn't make sense.

At any rate... all that said, I'm not abandoning this board, or you guys. The words at the top of the screen say 'chairheads unite', and that still is true - we did unite, and we're still united.

And you know what? Through "losing" silverchair in the past month and a half, I've become aware of other things in this world that I'm interested in - for example, politics.

I've been hired to be a Poll Official on October 2nd, the day of the provincial elections. I haven't been assigned a specific job yet, but there's a governmental meeting on Sunday morning that I'm to attend, so we'll see...

I'm currently volunteering with Derek Nighbor, the Liberal candidate for our riding, handing out pamphlets and putting up signs, and a bunch of us younger supporters were recruited from the headquarters office in town to do a presentation at the high school about the Liberal platform on Tuesday morning...

I've become engrossed with the life of Pierre Elliott Trudeau (he was the Prime Minister from the late sixties until the mid eighties) - I'm reading his autobiography at the moment, and I've watched the four hour long movie the CBC made about him a few years back, like, 12 times this month (I was sick of renting it, so I bought it, finally). There's some sort of "Trudeau marathon" on the TV this weekend, too - A two-hour Life & Times, a "Making Of" about the movie I was talking about... and I heard they're going to rebrodcast his funeral again, which is both creepy and intriguing, since I didn't get to see it the first time around, and the thought of seeing Jimmy Carter and Fidel Castro shaking hands is interesting...

I'm going to be in a rally on Parliament Hill on Saturday, against the U.S and U.K occupation of Iraq...

I want to marry Sacha Trudeau because he's brilliant (lol) - he's a documentary filmmaker and a freelance journalist, and everything he's put out lately has been phenomenal. The last article he did on Liberia for Maclean's magazine made me cry - this part in particular: "I try to remember the characters I knew here in 1997. Many of the politicians and fighters I interviewed have fled or are dead. One of them, Jack the Rebel, was a heart-eating mass murderer: one of Taylor's top bad boys. In a strange way, he had been my friend. He wore aviator glasses, and had a raspy voice and the bloodshot eyes of a crack addict. He was illiterate, inarticulate, and highly volatile. I would bring him liquor and he would talk about the mysteries of Africa. Beneath his burden of horrendous sin, there was something wise, even likeable about him. But now I learn that after I left, he was captured by LURD (Liberians United for Reconciliation and Democracy) forces. They set him free in the bush - but not before cutting off his arms and legs. Jack had it coming. He would be the first to admit it. But I still feel a little saddened by this grim news."

So yeah. This was kind of a sombre post, eh? But, maybe moving on was a good thing for me. I'll still be around, talking about pointless shit, as per usual. :) You know where to find me. Love yas.

J.

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