| Subject: Past & Present |
Author:
Cricket
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Date Posted: 09:41:56 04/30/02 Tue
I have been sitting here, and trying to find the words to write for over an hour. No words that come to mind or to pen, are adequate.
Ciro is alive..and he is back. I think I lost my mind for a few days..it all seems like a hazy fog now.
He tells me that Lanthe found him..and restored his soul to his body. Do I believe him? yes..even though I thought Lanthe to be dead as well. It seems she was only dead to me.
Im not sure how it makes me feel..angry, betrayed..but grateful..for if not for her, Ciro would still be dead.
I wanted to ask questions..did not do so for fear of the answers, and so I have let it pass. To see my rogues face, to hear his voice and feel his hand..its all worth it, no matter what the cost. I feel as if the cost were very high though, and I wonder, if it was worth it to her.
Majidah, of course, only wants his head on a platter..I think she hates him with all the intensity I am unable to sustain..and it is a bittersweet thing for me.
He has not changed in his ways..he is still the arrogant rogue I fell in love with..still satiating his taste for whiskey and women in the worst ways..and still as infuriating as ever..but in some ways, he has changed a great deal, and I believe I am only seeing the tip of that.
He has said things to me, that I know damned well would never come out of the rogues mouth before..and with conviction that allows no doubt as to the truth.
He offered a job to Majidah, to placate her and keep her away from his throat I thought..until I found out what it was. This is no simple placation, nor simple assassination..it is a deep and dangerous water we step into now..for all of us. He wants her to kill his brother.
I agreed, but it was not easy. I fear nothing more than I do the thought of losing them. I have for a long time, not given Majidah the credit she deserves..and I know that. It is just too easy to believe that the next stranger she comes across will be her demise, because she had not the knowledge of what they were. I am trying to correct that. I know it is my own paranoia..and I know Majidah is more than capable of carrying out the job. I will keep the worry of what happens afterward to myself..for Ciro has told me he intends to go with her..and reclaim his throne when it is all said and done.
I believe that to kill the Sultan, and allow Ciro his rightful place, is no easy task, and one that poses dangers to us all..but I am just as determined to see it through, as I am to keep them both alive.
I do hope Majidah takes his eye with a spoon..and I hope Im there to see it, and spit into the Sultans good eye. I hate him for what he has done to Ciro and his life..I always have..and now is the time when all will come back to haunt him. I am glad for this venture..but I am scared too.
Hishu lies far to the East, and I know I cannot take Trevor. The journey would be too difficult, and the risks to him too great. I have found Indigo again, but I cannot leave her to care for him alone...the same dangers for my son are still present.
..I need to take him to a holy place...
and I am scared.
C
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