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Subject: Departure Author: Cricket [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 04:19:32 05/06/02 Mon Its going to happen again..and this time..Faizah will be gone too. She and Ciro will leave today, to begin the trip East. I still have Indigo, Safiya, and Trevor to see to. I am supposed to catch up when I can. Most plans will be made without me..and who knows how long it will be before I can head off to follow them. I have a feeling that all will be over by the time I get there. ..if I get there. When Ciro and Majidah agreed to head off tomorrow..I felt everything drop..and I feel so tired. I cant bear the thought of the coming days..and what they will bring. I am losing Ciro, Majidah, and my Trevor. I must find a home for Indigo, and Safiya..and then, alone, I must set out to follow. I do not think I can make it. I cannot tell Ciro or Majidah that..for neither will understand. This is so important to them both..to carry this off..to murder his brother and retake Ciros rightful place. I think he is ready now..and I see in his eyes, a fear, and a determination, that was never there before. He will make a fine King..of that I am certain. I have always thought so. He talks lightly of what life will be like then..and of making me his Queen. I dismissed it all as unimportant..but I fear that there is no place for me in a strange land..nor am I cut out to be the wife of a Sultan. I am no ruler, nor am I cut out to be concubine to one. I do not think Sultans marry..nor would Ciro want such a thing..nor do I. What does that leave for me there? I do not know. I just know I do not want to travel all that way alone..I do not want to give up Trevor, and I do not want to see Majidah and Ciro leave together. My heart aches already..a heart I felt had frozen up a long time ago. The three most important people in my life..will be gone..and I am none too sure I can live with that. Maybe it is my time to die.. I do not know..I do not know anything, anymore. ..I only know that I dont want to be alone..because then..the end will come..and I do not want to die. ~C~ [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]