| Subject: Waiting |
Author:
Cricket
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Date Posted: 02:13:06 05/10/02 Fri
I am reading all I can get my hands on..to determine the right course for Trevor. I must have twenty books open to some passage or another..yet nothing I have read makes my decisions any easier.
Indigo has met up with someone named Castalane. I will make arrangements to meet with him soon. My decision with Trevor and what I must do, will be easier, if I know Indigo is safely kept. She seems excited by the prospect of serving this man. A soldier she says he is..one that travels to train. Let us hope that her choice is wise. If I find him to be all she said he was, I will be able to leave for the convent soon. After that..I know not what to do..for I know not which path Ciro and Majidah traveled.
I still cannot believe they left without me..and with no word of which way they traveled. I am less suprised at Ciro than I am Majidah..but I suppose that as I have left her in the past..she is leaving me now. Bitter justice.
I have holed up in Marcus' old lair. It has no kitchen, but Indigo makes do with the hearth, and it is comfortable and warm and safe for the time being, if not a little crowded.
I do not sleep, and I eat only when Indigo reminds me.
Trevor has taken his first steps, and is pulling himself up on every available edge. He will soon be running everywhere.
To leave him, will be the hardest thing I have ever done..but I know it is the best for him. I must force myself to go through with this..for even if I do not follow Majidah and Ciro...Trevor still needs to be kept safe.
I believe that The Traveler will be able to find him, and take him, no matter where I find him succor..but I also know, that there is naught I can do to prevent it. At least, if the sisters take him..he will experience both sides, and I hold the wish that his father will not come for him, until he is older, and able to decide on his own what his path in life will be. The convent will see to his education..make sure he is taught to read, and know the basis of his existance. Could I do more for him? I dont think so. Every day Trevor spends with me is a risk.
Majidah never did teach him to swim..
and I may never hear him talk in the words he babbles now.
I think I will ache every day that he is not with me..for it feels as if I am planning to leave a part of myself behind. I hope, that somehow, he rememebers his Maman, and I hope to Gods, that Im doing the right thing.
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