| Subject: Flashes of the past |
Author:
Cricket
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Date Posted: 10:14:48 02/23/02 Sat
Of all the people to have run into, I saw Saji the other day. Seems as though Burgoo disappeared, and Malone took her back. He of course, if famous for his own disappearances. She says she survives in the innes and taverns, and Im sure some buck will scoop her up in no time.
I must have had a weak moment, for I offered her shelter and food if she should find the need. The girl never did wish to be mine. A pity too..I have always thought her exotic and beautiful, and one of the few that knew and was proud of what she was. I suppose I am not suprised that she didnt show up. I am suprised at my own disappointment. I wont make the mistake of such an offer again.
Unfortunately, it has dredged up memories of the past, and Burgoo, and I find my hatred and disgust of him as strong as ever. I must say though, that he taught me one thing, and that was, that evil is often times hidden.
I hope he found a painful end..and I find that rather makes me smile, to think he finally went out screaming. He owed me his life. I would have liked to have sunk a dagger in him myself, but his death is enough to satisfy me. Bastard probably isnt dead at all, but that too, makes me smile. Perhaps someday Ill get the chance to sink that dagger after all.
For the most part though, that is water under the bridge, and I dont think about it much. Saji can starve or wither, I care not, and Burgoo can go straight to hell with his wives in accompaniement.
Ciro has been on my mind heavy as of late..and the ache of missing him takes me by suprise sometimes, and nearly doubles me over. I still can see his face in my mind as clear as if it were yesterday, and here his voice...bah..I try to push it away when it comes.
Trevor is growing strong, and beginning to lift his head on his own. He is the happiest child, and only cries when he wakes or when he is hungry. He is fussy sometimes, but Indigo says he is only teething. God help me when he gets a set of chompers.
Safiya stays clear of me for the most part, but work around here gets done, and I suppose thats all shes here for, is to help Indigo. She stays though, I suppose thats something.
Richard seems to be a permanent fixture around here lately. I dont like him much, but he can cook, and does so, and has offered his sword to protect the roost and all in it. I can overlook much that he would protect Trevor, but I dont trust him, and I despise what he is. I wish Indigo were not quite so enamored over the man. I have to constantly remind myself, that this place isnt mine anymore.
Indigo deserves it, and the respect of being treated as its owner. I have even thought of moving out, but I stay, because I believe it is good for Trevor here, and I have Indigo to take care of him. Nowhere else is as safe.
Perhaps when he is older, I'll retake the camera, but for now, I will stay here, and bite my tongue.
I wonder daily, about The Traveler..and if he is really going to show up when Trevor turns 8 months old. I hope he doesnt..for I know he'll take him away. Im not sure I could bear that..but I know I wont stop him. I wish things between us were different..and at times, I wish I had never left the cabin, or his side. He carries a deep hatred for me now, I am sure, because I denied him for Ciro. I wish I could go back and change it. Wish in one hand, shit in the other..see which fills the fastest. Regrets..I suppose we all have them. I carry a great many, but Ill be damned if Ill constantly look back and mourn. I am trying, to only look ahead, and Gods knows, Trevor makes that easy.
If youre listening Traveler..thank you for my son.
~Cricket~
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