Re: need some advice -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Wednesday, April 15, 12:41:54

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, [10] ]

Subject: Re: need some advice

Author:
Heather

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 08/ 7/06 1:24pm
In reply to: shelby 's message, "need some advice" on 08/ 7/06 10:45am

Hi Shelby,

I'm so glad you found our forum. It's a safe place for you.

Firstly, have you now reported the rape? This is first and most important. You were harmed and violated in a way that cannot be allowed to go undealt with. It's important for your safety and the safety of other women that whoever the perpetrator was is called to justice. There is no contempt in that, it is just what needs to be done. I understand the feelings of wanting to 'disappear.' Believe it or not, I think a lot more closure will be available to you if you bring the matter into the light, and this will also bring a support system to you. Even if it was 'date rape' you have a strong grounds for reporting the incident. Rape is rape.

Secondly, I would try to begin immediately separating the rape from your current pregnancy. The new life you are now carrying is not responsible for the rape you endured, and he or she can be rightly viewed as 'your baby' not a joint between you and the man who raped you. Many women who have sought abortions in an attempt to remove a rape that happened have found it only added one act of violence to another. There are other options available to you and the new little life inside you for healing and hope.

You can contact your cities local Pregnancy Resource Center as a start. They exist to help women in unplanned pregnancies and all of their services are free. They will offer you crisis pregnancy counseling so you have a place to decompress, as well as a host of practical resources from low to no cost referrals, ultrasounds, free baby clothes and furniture, financial aide, and they can line you up with any other referrals for counseling, housing, or safety that you need.

Please continue to post here as often as you like as well, Shelby. I'm so sorry for the circumstances that brought you here but we will stand behind you 100% and serve as your first source of support in your corner. The rape was not your fault and you have to reason to hide anything. Can you tell your parent(s)?

Please let us know in what ways we can best support you. You will be in my prayers.

With Kindness,

Heather

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: need some advice

Author:
Lori
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 08/ 7/06 1:44pm

Hi Shelby,

Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry that you were raped. This is completely horrible and it isn't your fault at all. Don't be ashamed to talk to your parents or counselor etc in fear that you have done something wrong. You need to talk and you need to tell the authorities about what has happened to you.

I know that you must be scared and confused right now. I'm sure your feeling a lot of emotions and those feelings can be hard to deal with alone. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone, this isn't your fault and you need to tell someone immediately.

Were here for you, we will stand behind you completely. I hope you continue to come to this board as often as you would like and need to. If you would like to talk feel free to email me anytime. My msn messenger screenname is LoriK71798@hotmail.com so if you would like to chat I would be more than happy to talk with you.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.

God Bless,
Lori