Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 08/26/06 11:24am
Luka,
Yes, it's normal for their, um, private parts to appear slightly large in the ultrasound, relative to the other things you see. I remember when we saw my son's ultrasound when we knew that he would be a boy: we saw what looked like THREE "legs" ;-) It was so funny. (He's quite normal now ;-)
As for wanting to give your children a better life than you had, taht is a wonderful aspiration and something that you certainly can accomplish. We are not captive to our upbringings. True, we will do and say things where we'll catch ourselves thinking "that's just what my mom or dad did, and I swore I'd never be that way." But, BECAUSE we know we don't want to be that way, we can actually catch ourselves and say we're sorry to our children. We can apologize to them if we yell or if we say something that sounds mean. True, it's best if we can manage not to do or say the thing in the first place, but we're human. We will mess up, sometimes. And it is such a healing thing for a child to hear a parent apologize and tell them they love them so much and don't want to do or say whatever they did or said. It also models a good behavior for the child: the child learns that even if he or she makes a mistake, there is the option of saying "I'm sorry". That in itself is a good lesson to learn!
Also, as for trying to guide your children to positive life choices (avoiding sex before marriage, not using drugs and alcohol, and things like that) some parents are afraid that they'll look like hypocrits if they tell their kids NOT to do something THEY did as a teen. But, that's not the case AT ALL!!!! What they are doing is trying to pass on wisdom they've gained from experience. It's not that they want to prevent their child from having the "fun" of doing whatever, it's that they want to protect their child from feeling the pain that RESULTS from doing whatever. So, parents have EVERY RIGHT (and in face, MUST) guide their children away from bad choices, even if the parent made those same bad choices in THEIR teen years. I speak from experience - I began having sex when I was 15 and was pregnant when I was 18. I have been very honest with my children as they've grown into teens that while I did that, and while I'm extremely grateful for my oldest son (God can bring wonderful good out of bad ;-), it was a very poor choice on my part. I encourage them to save their sexuality until marriage. (I must admit I haven't always been successful in convincing them of that, but we're fighting against a very sexualized culture.)
So, feel empowered. The fact that you have a sense of what is good and what is bad in this culture and that you realize you will need to work against some of the things you were raised with, puts you in a very good position to parent the way you truly want to parent - not as playing out of unhealthy patterns you learned in childhood!
God bless you,
Sharon
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