| Subject: Re: hello |
Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 08/27/06 12:43am
In reply to:
Sharon
's message, "Re: hello" on 08/25/06 9:15pm
Hi Sharon and Luka,
Sharon, I, too, have an Andrew James. He is our eldest at age 8. He has three sisters - Heidi Rose, Jemma Isabel, and Clara Faith.
We liked Andrew a lot, and have to date been succesful at warding off any shorthands of Andy or Drew. :) I loved your posts, by the way. I also had very turbulent teen years, looking for approval and satisfaction in sexual relationships that left quite a toll, but like you I have no hesitation at all in teaching our children to save their bodies for marriage. I see it as all the more necessary having witnessed in hindsight the damage done at a time when it seemed so right.
Luka,
You wrote:
"It's like being bricked in and it's difficult to recognise a way to stay out of situations and relationships like this and to find a better way. I want to change so many things but it's hard to know how and where to start even."
I know exactly what you mean. It's hard to pursue freedom when you can't define it, isn't it? Before coming to Christ it seemed a cruel and ironic joke to me that the more boundaries/restraints I tried to eliminate from my life the more claustrophic I felt. It was depressing and fearful madness. I would meditate and try to visualize an open field with no obstructions (restraints) at all, and even in my meditations it would drive me nuts that there was no point of reference!
For my two cents, I found that when driven to ask the deeper questions which eventually brought me to the foot of the cross kneeling before Christ (freedom!) I kept looking at salvation or happiness of any kind as having to with what I needed to do/not do. Just give me the recipe already!! I'm broken and ready for traction to get out of this pit I keep falling into. But that's a pretty heavy pack to take on, if you think about it, because even if you do master the 'recipe,' are we able to do it every day, perfectly, till we die? What happens when one of the balls falls out of the juggler's hands? What I found was that even if I kept a spell of a few weeks going where I 'did good' and things seemed 'clarified' to me and I thought in a healthy way about things, etc, eventually I blew it and when my 'okayness' rested on how well I was performing it kept coming down with a discouraging crash.
As for your newest little one, and your expressed concern about not having a male role model around for him, I've with the camp that says no male role model is better than a destructive one. Hopefully between now and when your little boy turns into the logic years you'll have found some good male role models for him, even if they're not romantically related to you.
If not, you're still a great mom and I think your little boy will always know that. :)
You are all such neat women here - really quite amazing and beautiful.
Heather
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