Re: Scared and Confused -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Wednesday, April 15, 19:22:29

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Subject:

Re: Scared and Confused

Author:
Shellie

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Date Posted: 08/15/09 10:34am
In reply to: Jenn 's message, "Scared and Confused" on 08/15/09 2:21am

Hi Jenn,

You said that you didn't think you were strong enough to go through an abortion. Let me tell you, facing an unplanned pregnancy head-on, and not running away from it is the epitome of STRONG!

And I don't know why this is, but we women somehow feel guilty for getting/staying pregnant and "ruining a man's life". Don't feel guilty! You both took part in making a new being, you are just doing the natural thing--letting him/her continue to grow and live.

Job situations and finances can and do change. You have about 8 months before the baby is born, and many things can change in that time. I recommend going to your local Pregnancy Resource Center. They will help you get connected with resources in your area that you can benefit from. Are you drawing unemployment benefits? If not, you may want to look into that. I�m not sure, but I think if you�re working part time, you may be able to. I don�t know what�s going on with your job, but maybe they should just let you go all the way so you can draw benefits (and most likely receive more money than your one day a week job), while looking for another job.

I�m not sure what will happen with your current relationship. How he feels about you has a lot to do with how he will respond to the baby and you, initial reaction aside. It�s normal for men to have a negative reaction at first. With time many men come to accept the pregnancy, support the mother, and later love their child. Time will tell. But you are right; you can do this without his support. It�s so good to hear that your mother would be there to help you through this. Mothers are awesome!

I will post again to offer more advice and suggestions. Feel free to post as often as you like!

Take care,

Shellie

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Scared and Confused

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 08/15/09 5:58pm

Hi, Jenn,

At 24, you are a good age for having children. I agree with Shellie. The strong and brave thing would be to protect your child. Remember, courage isn't about being unafraid. It's about facing your fears and doing the right thing in spite of them.

You spoke of thinking that having this baby would be the end of your relationship. Actually, the opposite is true. About 90% of the unmarried relationships break up after abortion.

You can find a pregnancy resource center in your area by going here: pregnancycenters.org. They will help you with your expenses, finding a job, and so forth. You have plenty of time, and really, other than the cost of birth, a baby isn't all that expensive, especially if you breastfeed. And the center can help you with the cost of the birth; there are people who volunteer their time and resources. They can help you with baby clothes and baby supplies. Yes, jobs are hard to find right now, but that may well change for the better, so allow yourself to hope.

You said you want your baby. So don't have an abortion. Take care of yourself and your precious little one. We will be here for you, and we will pray for you.

Hugs,
Pat