Re: unplanned pregnancy,hes not my BF,he is Pressuring me to abort! -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: unplanned pregnancy,hes not my BF,he is Pressuring me to abort!

Author:
Sharon

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Date Posted: 01/15/10 11:46am
In reply to: Jaycee 's message, "unplanned pregnancy,hes not my BF,he is Pressuring me to abort!" on 01/14/10 10:58pm

Hi, Jaycee.

I, too, can vouch for the fact that beautiful children can be raised without a biological father.

31 years ago, I got pregnant while in college. My boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion, and I actually went as far as to make an appointment to have one! But, I ended up cancelling it. I am SO incredibly glad that I did. My son when on to become a National Merit Scholar. He now has a little 1-year-old of his own (and he's a WONDERFUL father to him.) My son is one of the funniest, kindest, most loving people in the world. I cannot imagine the world without him in it.

I ended up meeting a man who adopted him. My son thinks of him as his father (he cam into his life when he was 2.)

It's challenging to raise a child alone, but it can be done. And, I think it is easier than raising a child with a contrary father.

So, consider yourself sort of lucky that he's bowing out now. That will make it that much easier for you to find your child's "real" father should he come along ;-)

I'll say a prayer for you.

Sharon

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Re: unplanned pregnancy,hes not my BF,he is Pressuring me to abort!

Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 01/15/10 2:37pm

Hi Jaycee,

I would like to encourage you to listen to your own heart. You've said you don't want to abort, that's it's against your beliefs, so go with your beliefs! I know it's scary to think about going through this alone. And I know how much you'd prefer to have a father for your child. But not having a father is a temporary situation. There are plenty of men who are capable of loving a child as their own--I married such a man! We started going out just before my son turned 2. My son started calling him dada and loving him a as a dad without any coaxing from me. And this man couldn't help but fall in love with him, as well. : )

I've always credited my son for giving me my wonderful husband. Because before his birth, my choice in men was a bit scary! Once this little guy was in my life and his wellbeing was in my hands, I had more to think about when choosing whom to bring into my life.

Do you have friends and family who are supportive? Family can be a bit tough at first, but they almost always become supportive. My family was a big help when I was going through this. My dad and my son had such a wonderful relationship that I didn't worry about him missing out on a dad at that point. He also had a bunch of uncles and other family members to love on him.

You can do this Jaycee. And hopefully your little will have the same impact on you as my son did. It's time to start loving yourself. You deserve better than a man who only wants to have sex with you. Don't get me wrong; I'm not putting you down. I'm just pointing out a fact. You deserve much better than that.

Please continue to post and let us know how you're doing.

Prayers and hugs to you!

Shellie