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Wednesday, April 15, 19:22:21Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1[2]345678910 ]
Subject: I just found out and I dont know for how long I was....


Author:
Sam (Sam)
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Date Posted: 05/16/10 6:46pm

At 930am on May16th I found out I was pregnant. I have had dreams about this morning for a while and I dont know for how long I had them. I dont even know how long I have been pregnant. I dont know what to do. I am still in college, earning my CNA and then my RN, this was never planned and I feel so, stupid.
I feel like I am not only ruining my life, but, the life of the baby growing inside me. I feel like I am already dyeing inside.
I dont know what kind of message board this is. I just needed a release.

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: I just found out and I dont know for how long I was....


Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 05/19/10 9:23am

Hi Sam,

I can feel your despair in your message. I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed right now. Do you mind if I ask a few questions? Does the father of your baby know you're pregnant? If so, what are his feelings? Is he being supportive? Does your family know you're pregnant? Are they being supportive?

Please know that most women who learn of an unplanned pregnancy feel just as you do, at first. There is a feeling that it could never have a good outcome. There is a desire to somehow get out of it. But most women overcome these initial feelings. A different perspective usually comes into play once the mother has had time to adjust, has received support, and most importantly; has fallen in love with her unborn baby. And if you allow yourself that time, you will fall in love with your baby, way before you meet him or her. Once this happens, there is an overwhelming desire to make it work. I'm sure that as you're reading this you can't imagine actually being excited about this pregnancy. But trust me, in time you will be. If you allow it.

I would love to offer advice and support. Would you mind answering my questions and giving more information about your particular situation?

I'm happy you posted here. Please feel free to write as often as you like.

Take care,

Shellie
[> Subject: Re: I just found out and I dont know for how long I was....


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 05/20/10 5:11pm

Hi, Sam,

I am very glad that you feel able to release some thoughts here. I am sorry the board was down for so long.

Whether or not your ruin your baby's life is really up to you. If you cut your baby's life short, that will certainly ruin it. On the other hand, if you take heart, work hard, and use some creativity, you can make a good life for your baby. This doesn't have to interfere with you getting your RN. I know this because I was able to finish my degree after I had four children, three of them preschoolers. And if I can do it with four, you can do it with one.

Children naturally find joy and wonder in life. If you give your baby your love, your child will thrive and will be a blessing to you, even in imperfect circumstances. It is harmful for a child to live in the perfect world anyway, because the child will develop selfishness instead of character.

There are resources available to you. If you are in the United States, you can find an organization near you that will help you by going to this web site:

www.pregnancycenters.org

If you are not in the United States, I can give you a different link. There are organizations throughout most of the world.

Please think about what you could be pushed into doing. You are entering a profession that helps people and saves lives. The very first person in the world who is depending on you for your help and protection is your own child. The best possible way I can think of for getting off on the right foot is to help and protect your own baby. As a nurse, you will be expected to adhere to certain ethical standards, and one of those is not to harm anyone. Please think about this. As difficult as things seem, you deserve an answer you can live with, an answer that will leave you with a clear conscience and a unified mind and purpose to your life.

You will learn, in your studies, that a mother bonds with her baby in the first few days of her baby's life, although most women are not consciously aware of this bond until later. The baby communicates through hormonal messages, to his or her mother, by touching the Fallopian tube during the journey to the uterus. Once the baby establishes life in the uterus, he or she sends stem cells into the mother's bloodstream. These move to various parts of a mother's body, and some of them go to the mother's brain. This is another source of bonding. When either birth or abortion occur, many times more stem cells are released. Abortion causes pain to the baby, and this causes the body to manufacture chemicals. I don't see how the chemicals can avoid getting into the stem cells as well. The mother will have this reminder in her brain for the rest of her life. You can erase a baby from a mother's body, but never from her heart. Your dreams mean that on some level, you are aware that you have already bonded with your baby.

You will also learn, at some point, just how damaging it is for a mother to allow someone to assault her own body in order to get rid of the "problem".

It is possible that the organization near you can provide a free ultrasound. You deserve to meet your baby. Please check into it.

I am hoping and praying that you will be able to get past this panic and, by taking one day at a time, arrive at a point where you can experience the joy you deserve. We love both of you, and we will be here for you. Please stay and talk to us. And please take care, and keep both of you safe.

Hugs,
Pat
[> Subject: Re: I just found out and I dont know for how long I was....


Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 05/21/10 1:11pm

Hi, Sam.

I'm sure this seems like the absolute worst thing that could be happening right now, but I was in a similar situation 30 years ago. I was in college and found myself unexpectedly pregnant. I didn't know what to do and felt like the whole world was falling in on me. I even made an appointment to have an abortion. But, I ended up cancelling it...and I'm so glad I did. Because I cancelled that appointment, I now have a beautiful, loving, funny, amazing, incredible son (He was a National Merit Scholar!) AND, HE now has a little boy. So, I have two lives in my life that would have been lost if I'd succumbed to the fear that was inside me.

So, I encourage you to take a deep breath. Sometimes things that seem terrible at the time can turn out to be the most incredible blessings. Far from "ruining" your life or your baby's life, you are actually being faced with an opportunity to enjoy a new life that you can't even completely imagine now.

Sharon



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