Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 04/15/09 12:32pm
Christina,
I almost aborted my first child, but ended up cancelling the appointment. I can't tell you how grateful I am that I made that decision.
Maybe have your boyfriend visit some of the sites that talk about what actually happens to the fetus in an abortion. There are a number of them out there (http://www.abortionno.org is one I know of that actually has a link to a video of an abortion being performed. It's very graphic and disturbing, but it might be something your boyfriend needs to watch in order to fully comprehend the reality of abortion.) Of course, I'm worried such sites might be very traumatic for you, too, given that you've undergone abortions. But, while we can't change things in the past, we have a chance to change the course of the future. Like Pat said, you are being given an opportunity to protect this child.
Men don't often think of the emotional consequences to a woman of having an abortion. They think that since it's legal and a medical procedure, it should just be "ok". But, women know that it's unnatural and goes against their nature - they feel nurturing and bonding emotions that they are forced to deny completely in order to be able to eliminate their own offspring. I fault society for feeding us the lie that abortion is just like removing a growth. It's not and women know it.
Lori and Pat are right, too, that the fears we have about taking care of a child are often blown out of proportion when we're wrestling with an unplanned pregnancy. We worry a lot about money. But there are lots of resources out there to help pregnant women and their young. WIC is one program that is wonderful. It's through your county health nurse and has a very high income ceiling (meaning you can make quite a bit of money and STILL be eligible for WIC.)
You have some time to think about things. If you were further along, there'd be more pressure. But as it is, you can think about things and do research without worrying that you're running out of time.
One thing you might want to do is research some of the post-abortive sites. I don't know the circumstances surrounding your abortions, but if there were people or situations (lack of money? perceived inability to finish school? boyfriend or parents who weren't supportive?) that made abortion the "right decision at the time", that can set a woman up for painful remorse and regrets. The post-abortive support sites really help a woman find healing and ways of dealing with difficult feelings. Rachel's Vineyard is one.
I'll say a prayer for you...
Sharon
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