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Subject: Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband Author: Tracey [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 06/28/09 4:49am In reply to: Julia 's message, "Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband" on 06/26/09 7:57am Julia~ What a difficult situation! First off, I have to tell you, if your ex husband truly loves you, he will love you NO MATTER WHAT! It sounds as though he's allowing his pride to come first instead of YOUR feelings. I have read and re-read your whole situation and I have to tell you if it were me, I'd sit him down and have a good 'ole heart to heart. I would explain to him that abortion is not an option--this is an innocent baby growing beneath your heart, wanting to live..this is your children's sibling--a piece of them!! Be loving if you decide to present this idea. Ask ahead of time for no arguing--to just listen and hear you out. And then tell him first that you love him--you both have gone through ups and downs, a relationship that ended in divorce, but now you are back together for a reason! Now, here you are pregnant, and it's not his, but you need him to set his feelings aside for a minute and realize that what he's asking you to do(abortion) would most likely devastate you, change you, and in result, end your relationship with him--most likely you will become too bitter towards him for pushing you to do something against your will and you will most likely break up due to resentment. He accepted you back, broken and a little different since you were last together and now you are asking him to accept part of you that may not be what he thinks is ideal, but it's not horrible either!!! You have a tiny miracle growing inside you--protect it, Julia! Just close your eyes for one minute and think what you would feel if you did go through with the abortion--empty, sad, resentful, bitter...I'd rather go through with the pregnancy and pray he'll come around. God can change the most hard-hearted people! Most likely he will come around, especially when he sees that tiny little one for the first time and holds him/her in his arms. :) I am praying for you, your ex husband, your children, and this little life!!! You are not alone, Julia!!! please come back and continue to keep us updated. God bless, Tracey [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> [> Subject: Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband Author: Pat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06/28/09 6:30am Hi, Julia, I don't have a lot to add to what Tracey said, because I think she said it so well. But I do want to add this. The baby is made in God's image. God intended to give you this baby. We don't know why, and we may not know for awhile, but as I have learned in life, there is always a reason. I desperately didn't want to be pregnant with my last child. But abortion wasn't an option. He has brought so much to my life! He delighted me for hours with his wonderful guitar playing. When my mother-in-law wanted more than anything else to stay in her apartment her last year of life, he was the only one who was available to take care of her, and he moved in with her. Without this, she probably wouldn't have been able to stay. She was such a sweetheart, and she had literally given us the shirt off her back when she needed help, so this was the least we could do. Then our son enlisted in the Army, and has spent two tours of duty in Iraq, helping to protect our country. I am so proud of him! And he gave us a precious grandson. You do the right thing. Don't try to cater to what someone else might do in the long run. If you do have an abortion, it is just about an ironclad guarantee that your family WILL be destroyed. You will have killed an innocent child, and you don't even believe in that! I get so upset that women even have to FACE this decision. It's not right! If you are concerned about tearing your family apart, PLEASE don't have an abortion. You can't bring good out of such a dark deed. Your husband most likely will accept this baby. But please bear in mind that men are much slower to accept a new child than we women are. We have evidence right in our own bodies that we are carrying a child, but a man doesn't observe this until the second trimester. He has to see an ultrasound, hear a heartbeat, feel movement, or see changes in the mother's body. Your situation was chaotic, and what happened isn't surprising. Give him time. Just tell him that you HAVE a child, and even though this child isn't part of him, it IS part of you, and if he loves you, he will be able to love this child. We raised two adopted children. They weren't physically part of either of us, but they were still very much our children. This baby needs an adoptive father, and your husband can be that father. Is he worthy of you? Not if he expects you to kill your baby. Just tell him that! It's not open to discussion. You are going to do the right thing, and whatever he does is up to him, but this is not open to discussion. Be strong. Pray. You can do it. Take one day at a time. We love you and your baby and will pray for you.