Subject:  Re: On the fence |
Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 12/28/07 4:01pm
In reply to:
Teresa
's message, "On the fence" on 12/26/07 9:14pm
Hi Teresa,
I'm back to share my thoughts with you. First of all, I want you to know that being confused is such a normal part of an unplanned pregnancy. It's scary--especially when you are faced with doing it alone. I know, I've been there. And I think wanting out of it is just plain normal. It's normal to want things to go back how they were. But abortion does not do that. You can't make it so that you never were pregnant. And from your message I get the feeling you would indeed regret having an abortion.
It's important to know that although early pregnancy is a time of panic and confusion, most women in an unplanned pregnancy come to not only accept their pregnancy, they come to look forward to meeting their little one. A lot happens in those 9 months. And there are stages we go through. One of the best stages is when you start to fall in love with your unborn baby. This love has a lot of power to motivate you to make changes, inspire you make better choices, and gives you the determination you need to make it work. Give yourself the opportunity to reach this point (a much better stage than what you're experiencing at the moment). Don't be like so many others who acted out of panic and are now left with guilt and regret.
I know it's scary, but you will see that you CAN do it, and that it's worth it. I was a single mom for a few years before I married a great man who is a wonderful father. Although being a single mom has its hard parts, I found that we made it just fine. And remember; you won't be alone forever (unless you choose to be). There are men out there who will cherish you AND your child. And if you're like me, having a child will make you much better at choosing a partner. I wanted only the very best for my little boy!
As far as the baby's father goes, he may change his mind later. But don't let him force you into aborting. It's YOU who would have to get on that table and let the doctor enter YOUR body and detach the child from YOU. Women have a lot more problems with guilt and regret because they are the ones who have to go through it. Don't let him guilt you into it. Men will tell the woman that they are ruining their lives by not aborting. But it's the women who have aborted for a man who are the ones I see with a "ruined" life. Living with guilt and regret isn't easy. I hope you avoid it.
Please keep us up to date. Post here as often as you want. I know this is a very scary time for you.
Take care,
Shellie
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