Re: in two minds.... -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: in two minds....

Author:
Pat

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Date Posted: 02/23/08 4:35pm
In reply to: Allie 's message, "in two minds...." on 02/20/08 12:42pm

Hi, Allie,

I'm so sorry we all missed your post. It was buried; it is better if you want a response, to post it as a new thread. But now that we are aware of your concerns, we will address them.

Your situation sounds very familiar. But I do need to ask you some questions.

The most important one is to ask you to explain why you think you need to buy a house! I know flats are small, but wouldn't you be able to survive in one for awhile? A baby doesn't need a lot to begin with. This gives you time to develop some decent plans.

What about your traveling? I'll tell you that I did a lot of traveling while pregnant or nursing a baby. It's not the usual thing to do, but we women really have a right to do it, and we won't get that right if we don't assert it. There may be some practical difficulties, but you can certainly address them.

You do need help, and you can get help at a crisis pregnancy agency. There are ten of them listed for London, here: www.pregnancycenters.org There will almost certainly be one which is convenient for you.

Most people don't really PLAN their lives like they'd like. But if you truly love each other, and you have created a product of that love (your child), then it makes sense to give it a go. You have time to spend together: a number of months. Abortion would most likely tear apart your relationship, and it could leave you disabled or dead, and it could also destroy you emotionally and spiritually.

We fully support you to carry your baby. By the time your baby is born, you will know what you want to do, and you will be ready to do it.

We will be here for you.

Hugs,
Pat

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[> [> Subject: Re: in two minds....

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 02/23/08 8:56pm

Allie,

I had one more thought I should have added earlier, and that's about your parents. We have six grandchildren, and one of them was born to our son and a woman he's not even serious about. Our greatest regret is that he didn't tell us about his son until his son was over 16 months old! We missed his early life! There was never any question that he is part of the family, and as far as I am concerned, so is his mother. I just hope they get married sooner rather than later. They both take excellent care of him.

Give your parents a chance. They may be disappointed at first, but it's rare for the grandparents not to dote on the grandchild. It's really hard telling them, but you know you'll have to. They may put pressure on you. Don't let them. Tell them that you have made your decision. As long as you are quiet and firm about it, eventually, they will accept it.

More hugs,
Pat