Re: Very Confused -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Re: Very Confused

Author:
Donna

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Date Posted: 02/18/07 4:20pm
In reply to: Deb 's message, "Very Confused" on 02/17/07 9:47am

Hi Deb,
Welcome to our little corner of the big internet. My heart goes out to you as you struggle to find the answers you so desire to find. I know that you are the only one that can make this decision for yourself. From your posting, I think you pretty much said it yourself. You don't believe in abortion. Oh my goodness Deb, don't do this to yourself. I know that when you were 19, you were young, probably just out of high school and the future was still unsure. You are much older, much more mature. I was so glad to see the date for the appointment a couple weeks away. I pray you will take this time to really think everything over and then over again. If you know in your heart already that abortion will be so emotionally hard, I would find a way to make this work. There are single moms raising their babies everyday and doing a fantastic job at it too. We've had so many young women visit this board over the years feeling despair in decision making. I would love for some of those ladies to reply here to you. To share the joy they've found in parenting their little ones. For some of us other ladies, we were struggling as we welcomed our little ones into the world. God blessed you with this baby and I feel that God will direct you in the path if you choose to have the baby. Trust in Him and he will provide. I hate to see you go to the appointment and knowing how you already feel about abortion, find yourself in misery struggling with what you did and how you wish you could change things back. Listen to your heart, it will guide you.
Write me anytime if you'd like to talk, I'll be here for you.
Blessings,
Donna

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Very Confused

Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 02/19/07 5:28am

Hi, Deb.

I believe you're right - everything does happen for a reason (and I think there's a reason you found this board ;-)

28 years ago, I was in a similar situation. I found myself pregnant while going to college. My boyfriend did NOT want to have a child, and I struggled with what to do. I even had an appointment to have an abortion. But, thank GOODNESS my stepmother (who was pro-choice) showed me pictures from her nursing books of what the little being growing inside of me looked like. I was blown away. I should have realized how developed he was (I'd aced biology in high school and clepped out of it in college), but I was believing planned parenthood when they referred to him as a "mass of cells" and a "blob of tissue". I called and cancelled the appointment and now have a most incredible son - Geoffrey. Words can't begin to describe how incredibly happy I am that he is in this world! In fact, I've NEVER heard anyone regret NOT having an abortion, but I've heard of LOTS of people regret having an abortion.

It sounds like you really don't want to have an abortion, but you're just not sure you can handle having a baby. First, you don't have to decide to raise your child at this point. Once I decided to cancel the appointment for the abortion, for almost the next 7 months I fully intended to place my child with an adoptive family. It really wasn't until the 8th month of my pregnancy that I realized I truly wanted to raise my child myself. So, there is plenty of time to decide that!

As for financial resources, there are lots of programs out there to help women with children (in fact, I found that I actually had MORE income after having my baby than I'd been living on when on my own!) One particular program you should look into is the Women Infants and Children program (WIC). It's through your county health nurse. It provides you with vouchers for all sorts of healthy food (eggs, peanut butter, beans, fruit juice, cheese, iron-fortified cereal, etc.) while you're pregnant and for the first year after if you choose to nurse your little one. If you choose to bottle-feed, WIC will provide you with vouchers for baby formula for a year! (Quite a good deal ;-) And the income ceiling is very high (meaning you can make quite a bit of money and still be eligible for WIC.) Regardless of whether you choose to nurse or bottle feed, WIC will provide your little one with vouchers for healthy food for his or her first 5 years! It's a GREAT program and is specifically designed to give babies a healthy start in life. And, don't feel guilty about using a social program like WIC: When your little one grows up, he or she will MORE than cover the value of the vouchers with the taxes he or she will pay ;-)

I know you'd prefer it if the baby's father wanted to play a role in your little one's life, but you will find there will be other males in your life (uncles, grandparents, friends) who will manage to serve as good male role models. And, if you are looking for a mate in the future, having a child tends to weed out the less-than-chivalrous ;-)

I'll say a prayer for you.
Sharon